What to do for Valentine's day when you hate Valentine's day?

[Randomguy]

I hate Valentine's day. 

I have told everyone I have ever dated or have ever been with for a while that I hate it and I don't do it.  They all say "Oh, I totally understand", and then I follow up with "I know you just accepted what I said and I have to tell you that I mean it, and it isn't code for getting you a surprise gift or going to a fancy restaurant, I simply don't do it and actively hate the idea of it and I will cook nothing red or deal with anything with hearts on it, in fact I will piss all over it".

Chicks all just expect stuff anyway.  I realize that women are crazy and simply cannot take truth for an answer if it is an answer they don't want to hear, and think the whole thing is just an occasion to get them more and greater gifts than their damn birthdays or Christmas. 

ExRW is a good example of this.  I told her multiple times, and when I say multiple, I mean at least 5 times so's she would fully get it.  Nope, I don't know why I ever thought her capable of understanding clear and unwavering explanations and sentiment regarding hallmark bullshit holidays.  "You didn't even get me anything for Valentine's Day" waah waah, go cry me a fucking river, you absolutely fucking knew in every way how I felt and told you so many damn times there was not even going to be an acknowledgement, no restaurant, no special meal, no gift (not even a DiaB).

Anyway, I now realize that telling the truth about the day actually doesn't make chicks understand things no matter  how much they furrow their brows trying to piece it together.  They will never understand. 

RO's mom makes a HUGE deal over every holiday, so I have to do something special for her, even if it is a direct disservice to all the rational thinking people out there that she will meet later in life who don't make a huge fucking deal over the most minor and stupid holidays.  I will get her chocolate and something with hearts on it.  Geez.

Anyway, I have told all this to this chick I am dating now.  She also won't understand, as 100% of women have shown they cannot grasp this, so I have decided to acknowledge the existence of the holiday.  

What would you do if you had to begrudgingly deal with the usual crapfest holiday that the dimmest find desirable?

[Razors Edge ★]

2 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

RO's mom makes a HUGE deal over every holiday, so I have to do something special for her, even if it is a direct disservice to all the rational thinking people out there that she will meet later in life who don't make a huge fucking deal over the most minor and stupid holidays.  I will get her chocolate and something with hearts on it.  Geez.

So, you ARE the problem, eh?

[Randomguy]

9 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

So, you ARE the problem, eh?

Yes, I am going to become the problem for RO and help train her to just expect stuff even when it is completely stupid.

[Razors Edge ★]

3 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

Yes, I am going to become the problem for RO and help train her to just expect stuff even when it is completely stupid.

Yet everyone wonders how we got where we are today

[BuffJim]

18 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

I hate Valentine's day. 

I have told everyone I have ever dated or have ever been with for a while that I hate it and I don't do it.  They all say "Oh, I totally understand", and then I follow up with "I know you just accepted what I said and I have to tell you that I mean it, and it isn't code for getting you a surprise gift or going to a fancy restaurant, I simply don't do it and actively hate the idea of it and I will cook nothing red or deal with anything with hearts on it, in fact I will piss all over it".

Chicks all just expect stuff anyway.  I realize that women are crazy and simply cannot take truth for an answer if it is an answer they don't want to hear, and think the whole thing is just an occasion to get them more and greater gifts than their damn birthdays or Christmas. 

ExRW is a good example of this.  I told her multiple times, and when I say multiple, I mean at least 5 times so's she would fully get it.  Nope, I don't know why I ever thought her capable of understanding clear and unwavering explanations and sentiment regarding hallmark bullshit holidays.  "You didn't even get me anything for Valentine's Day" waah waah, go cry me a fucking river, you absolutely fucking knew in every way how I felt and told you so many damn times there was not even going to be an acknowledgement, no restaurant, no special meal, no gift (not even a DiaB).

Anyway, I now realize that telling the truth about the day actually doesn't make chicks understand things no matter  how much they furrow their brows trying to piece it together.  They will never understand. 

RO's mom makes a HUGE deal over every holiday, so I have to do something special for her, even if it is a direct disservice to all the rational thinking people out there that she will meet later in life who don't make a huge fucking deal over the most minor and stupid holidays.  I will get her chocolate and something with hearts on it.  Geez.

Anyway, I have told all this to this chick I am dating now.  She also won't understand, as 100% of women have shown they cannot grasp this, so I have decided to acknowledge the existence of the holiday.  

What would you do if you had to begrudgingly deal with the usual crapfest holiday that the dimmest find desirable?

Name a star after her in the International Star Registry. I can’t think of anything more romantic. 

[Razors Edge ★]

12 minutes ago, BuffJim said:

Name a star after her in the International Star Registry. I can’t think of anything more romantic. 

A donation to the Human Fund?

[Airehead]

I think you can continue to tell her that you prefer to celebrate events like your first kiss or first date or first whatever rather than a made up day.  Just remember to do it if you say you will as she will expect it.

As for VD day--- I am not a fan either, but since everyone else seems to be crazy about it-- I will cook a nice meal and add a bottle of decent wine.  I don't think it is romantic to go out to eat with hoards of others and menus with inflated prices.

I will also make or buy a card because it is a simple way to make sure no one has hurt feelings.  I don't do gifts for the kids but I did send one 10K because she is moving to Beaufort, SC and needs a little help.  Spontaneous love is more my style.  I also recognize the day I got the joy of being their mom because that matters--- a card selling holiday doesn't matter in my world.

 

Since you are dating a new person, I say dinner and a card-- maybe a ticket for a back rub or a walk under the stars.  Be honest but also meet her part way.

 

Besides werent all the St. Valentine's beheaded at some point?  She doesn't want her boyfriend beheaded.

[dinneR ★]

20 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

A donation to the Human Fund?

Good idea, then a vow of celibacy.

[Razors Edge ★]

1 minute ago, dennis said:

Good idea, then a vow of celibacy.

Too late.  The next generation is FULLY engaged in this "Saint" Valentine's Day nonsense.  RG let the side down

[Zephyr]

You just need to meet better women.  WofZ is very much the same as I am when it comes to V-day being a non issue.

If I were to come home with a $7 Valentines day card, she'd be like "Why did you waste $7 on a card?"

We will go eat, not because it is Valentines, but because there is a special dinner served at our favourite restaurant that day only.

We are much more likely to buy each other stuff at random times because we want to as opposed to because it is some holiday.  It is not unusual for us to not even get each other presents at Christmas.

Just the other day these came for me, just because she saw them and thought I would like them. (New cool cycling socks, now I need to figure out how to ride in sock feet so I can show them off)

[ChrisL]

1 hour ago, Randomguy said:

I hate Valentine's day. 

I have told everyone I have ever dated or have ever been with for a while that I hate it and I don't do it.  They all say "Oh, I totally understand", and then I follow up with "I know you just accepted what I said and I have to tell you that I mean it, and it isn't code for getting you a surprise gift or going to a fancy restaurant, I simply don't do it and actively hate the idea of it and I will cook nothing red or deal with anything with hearts on it, in fact I will piss all over it".

Chicks all just expect stuff anyway.  I realize that women are crazy and simply cannot take truth for an answer if it is an answer they don't want to hear, and think the whole thing is just an occasion to get them more and greater gifts than their damn birthdays or Christmas. 

ExRW is a good example of this.  I told her multiple times, and when I say multiple, I mean at least 5 times so's she would fully get it.  Nope, I don't know why I ever thought her capable of understanding clear and unwavering explanations and sentiment regarding hallmark bullshit holidays.  "You didn't even get me anything for Valentine's Day" waah waah, go cry me a fucking river, you absolutely fucking knew in every way how I felt and told you so many damn times there was not even going to be an acknowledgement, no restaurant, no special meal, no gift (not even a DiaB).

Anyway, I now realize that telling the truth about the day actually doesn't make chicks understand things no matter  how much they furrow their brows trying to piece it together.  They will never understand. 

RO's mom makes a HUGE deal over every holiday, so I have to do something special for her, even if it is a direct disservice to all the rational thinking people out there that she will meet later in life who don't make a huge fucking deal over the most minor and stupid holidays.  I will get her chocolate and something with hearts on it.  Geez.

Anyway, I have told all this to this chick I am dating now.  She also won't understand, as 100% of women have shown they cannot grasp this, so I have decided to acknowledge the existence of the holiday.  

What would you do if you had to begrudgingly deal with the usual crapfest holiday that the dimmest find desirable?

Wow, from a relationship stand point I’m so glad I’m not you..

FTR my wife doesn’t want nor expect Hallmark Holiday gifts. We’ll do cards and sometimes I’ll get her flowers but really she’d rather I not spend money on roses she’ll end up tossing in a few days.   Jewelry or such, please she doesn’t wear her wedding ring anymore and would be pissed if I plunked down a grand or so on a fancy Diamond trinket...

[Square Wheels]

Nothing, the same way we celebrate every other holiday.

[Randomguy]

1 hour ago, Airehead said:

I think you can continue to tell her that you prefer to celebrate events like your first kiss or first date or first whatever rather than a made up day.  Just remember to do it if you say you will as she will expect it.

As for VD day--- I am not a fan either, but since everyone else seems to be crazy about it-- I will cook a nice meal and add a bottle of decent wine.  I don't think it is romantic to go out to eat with hoards of others and menus with inflated prices.

I like the way you think!

31 minutes ago, Zephyr said:

If I were to come home with a $7 Valentines day card, she'd be like "Why did you waste $7 on a card?"

We will go eat, not because it is Valentines, but because there is a special dinner served at our favourite restaurant that day only.

We are much more likely to buy each other stuff at random times because we want to as opposed to because it is some holiday.  It is not unusual for us to not even get each other presents at Christmas.

You are lucky to find the unicorn in the haystack!  I have a theory that people who so focus and look forward to grandiosity for holiday purposes simply don't know how to appreciate what is for what it is or fully enjoy the moment.   

Buying random stuff at random times is what I typically do for RO to counter her mother buying her gifts on demand.  I say that literally, as RO would demand gifts and ExRW would do it immediately, and of course I would be pissed off.  When RO would demand that I would buy her gifts in the same way, I simply said no or "Is it your birthday or Christmas?  No?  Then no gifts".  Instead I would find something cool or educational, then buy it and later say "I saw this and thought you would like it" and give her something not demanded so's not to have a spoiled brat (or a neglected offspring).  

[team scooter]

Valentines Day has always been more of a family holiday weekend for us. The kids got the Monday off for Presidents day, so we've always rented a cabin for an up north getaway. We took a few years off because everyone has been busy. But our adult son restarted the tradition last year now that our grand daughter is nine. We'll do a little snowmobiling, hike oot to see some more waterfalls, a local town up their has an annual winter festival this weekend too. But we'll see if social distancing is a problem as its supposed to be COLD and everyone will be bundled up with masks and scarves anyway. Otherwise we'll ride and hike oot in the woods.

[Randomguy]

40 minutes ago, ChrisL said:

Wow, from a relationship stand point I’m so glad I’m not you..

No way, chicks dig me.  I generally tell things as they are, I want and give the truth.

[shootingstar]

You know for someone that you're dating, one does need to be careful about "expectations".  

As for the day, when I first dated dearie...I wasn't even paying attention that V-day was occurring. He bought me potted hyacinths...powerful smelling indoors. Knock me out.   

Anyway, he and I are pretty modest/ordinary in V-day stuff, a card / some individual chocolate(s) or a heart cookie or tart/tiny dessert. I guess some years we might have prepared a dish we don't usually eat often. Or other years, a home meal with wine. It's not consistent because V-day, ...is every day for us.  No, I don't expect present(s)...we just celebrated Christmas..then a month later, it's my birthday.  And he doesn't expect presents either.