No celebration of life for dearie--> try different way

[shootingstar]

Without getting into messy details, there has still been no virtual service for dearie.  He has been gone for over 2 months. And even for this I have to go through his children's lawyer. 

Forget it.  I'm tired of the blocking, non-communication. 

I'm celebrating in a different way....I've submitted a little profile to a national newspaper that has a column weekly on well-written profile of someone who died. Usually written by a family members, good friend.  A good friend of mine offered to rework my draft and fine-tuned it even more.  She's done this for 3 profiles as a "gift" for her other close friends.....and they have been published nationally.

One is probably competing against several hundred submissions...  She came up with an excellent opening sentence.

 

[Airehead]

I hope you are successful. I have celebrated his life each time I think of how much he cared about you and how much he did in the community. It seems a good way to honor him without getting bogged in the family drama. Let us know when it is published. 

[shootingstar]

15 minutes ago, Airehead said:

I hope you are successful. I have celebrated his life each time I think of how much he cared about you and how much he did in the community. It seems a good way to honor him without getting bogged in the family drama. Let us know when it is published. 

Opening line has abit of drama...which e-newspapers LOVE.

[ChrisL]

When it’s done would you post it here?  I’d love to read of his amazing life & accomplishments.

[Scrapr ★]

1 hour ago, shootingstar said:

Opening line has abit of drama...which e-newspapers LOVE.

Did it start out....It was a dark & stormy night

that always keeps me guessing

[Kirby]

I hope they accept it.  He was a remarkable man with a wide range of interests and abilities.  If for any reason this doesn't work, I'm sure you could arrange a virtual meeting where some friends could share memories.  And as things open up, you could even do something where people meet in real life.  But the best tribute was the love you shared/

[Razors Edge ★]

17 hours ago, shootingstar said:

I'm celebrating in a different way

Do your thing the way you and he would have wanted it.  It was your relationship and life with each other, so it can be a celebration/party/memorial/trip/whatever of what would have been special for your times together and the memories you shared.

My father died but our "memorial" service was a few months later once we got the remains from the cremation and the burial plot sorted out and were able to coordinate with extended family.  There is no short time-line required, but giving a few months to get stuff together helped a bunch - and it was no less special (and still tough).

For my FiL, he died in Dec, and we had the church memorial service first week of April.  His church is negotiating a new plot of land for a cemetery, so the family is holding onto his and their mother's ashes until the church opens the new spaces.  They may temporarily house the remains at a different place, but that depends on the timeline. 

IOW, things move along at their own pace, and you can and should do what works best for you to memorialize him and to get through you own grief.  The profile story sounds nice regardless of whether it gets published nationally, regionally, or locally. 

[jsharr ★]

Sorry you are dealing with all the family drama.  I too would enjoy seeing the finished product.  I hope you are holding up okay and taking care of yourself.   

[Zealot]

I’m in the “please share the story here” crowd.

I am sorry you’re dealing with these issues, SS. But I think you should celebrate/memorialize any way you choose to. 

[shootingstar]

3 hours ago, Razors Edge said:

Do your thing the way you and he would have wanted it.  It was your relationship and life with each other, so it can be a celebration/party/memorial/trip/whatever of what would have been special for your times together and the memories you shared.

My father died but our "memorial" service was a few months later once we got the remains from the cremation and the burial plot sorted out and were able to coordinate with extended family.  There is no short time-line required, but giving a few months to get stuff together helped a bunch - and it was no less special (and still tough).

For my FiL, he died in Dec, and we had the church memorial service first week of April.  His church is negotiating a new plot of land for a cemetery, so the family is holding onto his and their mother's ashes until the church opens the new spaces.  They may temporarily house the remains at a different place, but that depends on the timeline. 

IOW, things move along at their own pace, and you can and should do what works best for you to memorialize him and to get through you own grief.  The profile story sounds nice regardless of whether it gets published nationally, regionally, or locally. 

For each my sister, my father who died in different years, the funeral, burial was done within 3-4 wks. after death.  I've been to other funerals where it was 2-5 wks. after death.

So admittedly I'm not familiar with long stretched out timeframes between death and memorial/celebration of life ceremony. Thx for this, Razor.  (It doesn't solve other communication problems I'm having).

[ChrisL]

3 hours ago, Razors Edge said:

Do your thing the way you and he would have wanted it.  It was your relationship and life with each other, so it can be a celebration/party/memorial/trip/whatever of what would have been special for your times together and the memories you shared.

My father died but our "memorial" service was a few months later once we got the remains from the cremation and the burial plot sorted out and were able to coordinate with extended family.  There is no short time-line required, but giving a few months to get stuff together helped a bunch - and it was no less special (and still tough).

For my FiL, he died in Dec, and we had the church memorial service first week of April.  His church is negotiating a new plot of land for a cemetery, so the family is holding onto his and their mother's ashes until the church opens the new spaces.  They may temporarily house the remains at a different place, but that depends on the timeline. 

IOW, things move along at their own pace, and you can and should do what works best for you to memorialize him and to get through you own grief.  The profile story sounds nice regardless of whether it gets published nationally, regionally, or locally. 

Before my brother slipped into a coma he asked me to do what we could to get him buried in Arlington Cemetery.  Being a Vietnam Vet he was eligible but  he never spoke of his service and really wasn’t a model soldier getting reduced in rank and separating as a private E-2 due to a NJP just prior to discharge.

As nobody knew his wishes, not sure he did either until faced with his own mortality, it took over a year to get the documents squared away & him accepted for burial. But we got him in Arlington. 

[Razors Edge ★]

39 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

For each my sister, my father who died in different years, the funeral, burial was done within 3-4 wks. after death.  I've been to other funerals where it was 2-5 wks. after death.

So admittedly I'm not familiar with long stretched out timeframes between death and memorial/celebration of life ceremony. Thx for this, Razor.  (It doesn't solve other communication problems I'm having).

Cremation certainly gives families space and time for decisions.  It would have been different if we had to worry about a "true" burial.

[Longjohn ★]

My son flew in when his wife saw me post on Facebook that I though  my wife was reaching the end. His wife drove the family up from Georgia. They stayed with me until after the memorial service. I was thinking having it in a couple months but I wanted my house back so we had the memorial three weeks after she passed.