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Rough day with Zane today.


Longjohn
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I have no clue what set him off today. Everything seemed to be going fine and he exploded into a full blown meltdown. He was swinging his fists and kicking and clawing. I was able to restrain him but it took everything I could do. Meanwhile I had both hands full and couldn’t grab my phone to call for help. I restrained him (with him fighting for all he’s worth to get at me) for about ten minutes. I couldn’t get him to calm down. I had both of his hands restrained and a leg holding his legs down when he head butted me right in the mouth. It’s quite a job to hold down two arms, two legs and also hold his head so he can’t do that again. Finally one of the volunteers for Creation Station walked past the room and I had him call security and Zane’s mom. When his mom and older brother showed up he calmed down. I’m his last hope, everyone else has given up on him. My chest hurts, I don’t remember getting hit in the chest but it feels like when I had a broken rib.

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18 minutes ago, Longjohn said:

I have no clue what set him off today. Everything seemed to be going fine and he exploded into a full blown meltdown. He was swinging his fists and kicking and clawing. I was able to restrain him but it took everything I could do. Meanwhile I had both hands full and couldn’t grab my phone to call for help. I restrained him (with him fighting for all he’s worth to get at me) for about ten minutes. I couldn’t get him to calm down. I had both of his hands restrained and a leg holding his legs down when he head butted me right in the mouth. It’s quite a job to hold down two arms, two legs and also hold his head so he can’t do that again. Finally one of the volunteers for Creation Station walked past the room and I had him call security and Zane’s mom. When his mom and older brother showed up he calmed down. I’m his last hope, everyone else has given up on him. My chest hurts, I don’t remember getting hit in the chest but it feels like when I had a broken rib.

?  Is Zane a grandchild or?  How old is he? I'm sorry to hear this...you tried.

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1 minute ago, shootingstar said:

?  Is Zane a grandchild or?  How old is he? I'm sorry to hear this...you tried.

I volunteer with a special needs ministry at my church. Zane is a seventeen year old non-verbal autism boy that is dealing with a lot of frustration as well as the normal issues of raging teenage hormones. It’s hard to tell how much he understands when you talk to him.

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Kudos to you for spending time with him despite all the recent demands on your time.  You're already physically tired and emotionally drained, so I'm sorry you had to deal with this today as well.  He may be non-verbal, so it may be hard to see the impact you're having, but I'm sure you're having a positive impact on him (even if it doesn't seem like it on some days).

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4 minutes ago, Airehead said:

And sometimes my friend, it is just because....

Today, I put my money on the rapidly changing weather and what it does to the inner ear. 

I am sorry it happened and pray that this is a break through for him. 

Ps-- head butts in those conditions hurt!?

I have a bit of a fat lip from it. I’ll bet it was the weather. He holds his ears a lot, especially when entering the building or going through a crowded lobby. He’s getting stronger, I need to get back to the gym. I’ve been spending all my time caring for my wife.

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If Yur church can afford it, you should seriously consider a portable mat. We use 4 section ones which can be a barrier or held in two sections and used as sort of a shield for staff. Between staff and the acting out individual.  Often safer than going hands on  

 

image.jpeg

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That’s tough LJ but good on ya for your efforts.  To be honest I’ve never had to restrain anyone with concern of not hurting them. If I was wresting with  some dirt bag back in the day I’d do whatever necessary to win.  I honestly can’t fathom doing what you did.  

 

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1 hour ago, RalphWaldoMooseworth said:

It sounds to me like he is aboot to blow his last chance.  You can;t be expected to put up with that shit.

I still feel a breakthrough is coming, I’m not ready to give up on him. The security team is going to start making frequent checks on us. This is the first time I wasn’t able to calm him down. They are trying to think of a hands free way for me to contact them. Maybe I could use a radio easier than my phone. 

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4 minutes ago, Longjohn said:

I still feel a breakthrough is coming, I’m not ready to give up on him. The security team is going to start making frequent checks on us. This is the first time I wasn’t able to calm him down. They are trying to think of a hands free way for me to contact them. Maybe I could use a radio easier than my phone. 

Yes, good idea - leave the wrassling to the young guys!

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5 hours ago, Kzoo said:

For your sake you should never be alone with him.  I know staffing can be difficult but if for no other reason than your liability you should always have a second adult.  Those are our rules.  

The second adults all quit, he was too much for them. He is a lot calmer with less people around. He did better when I had him in the Life Center (the old auditorium that we outgrew). Our new pastor that started a year ago started holding classes there twice a month and I had to take him somewhere else. He likes a lot of space. He had his meltdown in the special needs classroom. It’s only about the size of my living room and he gets antsy there.

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55 minutes ago, Longjohn said:

The second adults all quit, he was too much for them. He is a lot calmer with less people around. He did better when I had him in the Life Center (the old auditorium that we outgrew). Our new pastor that started a year ago started holding classes there twice a month and I had to take him somewhere else. He likes a lot of space. He had his meltdown in the special needs classroom. It’s only about the size of my living room and he gets antsy there.

Excitable boy, they all said. 

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7 hours ago, Kzoo said:

For your sake you should never be alone with him.  I know staffing can be difficult but if for no other reason than your liability you should always have a second adult.  Those are our rules.  

Yep. This.

Though, this weekend's event dictates that no one should be alone with him for everyone's safety. The results of a head butt (to an old guy) could be catastrophic, or rage inducing.

I'll bet when they count the offering, no one does it alone.

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39 minutes ago, Longjohn said:

I think I might have a cracked rib. It doesn’t hurt as bad as my rib I broke last bike crash but enough that it is really hard moving firewood.

Take this advice from me as I have repeat experience not doing the right thing--- get it xrayed so you know.  The reason is simple-- if it is really broken, you are going to want to take a couple weeks off from working with him.  If you don't a repeat hit will likely cause a lung puncture.  Do not ask me how I know this but do trust me on it.

 

I'm sorry this happened and I admire your conviction to him and his family.

PS-- will he wear noise muffling headphones? https://www.nationalautismresources.com/discount-ear-muffs/   I have seen them help a lot.  Also, is there a behavior therapist on his school team?  If so, get a copy of his BIP (Behavior Intervention Plan) and his FBA (Functional Behavioral Assessment.  Mom may have them or can get them as they must be shared with parents.  Reading those documents may give you some more clues.

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2 hours ago, Airehead said:

Take this advice from me as I have repeat experience not doing the right thing--- get it xrayed so you know.  The reason is simple-- if it is really broken, you are going to want to take a couple weeks off from working with him.  If you don't a repeat hit will likely cause a lung puncture.  Do not ask me how I know this but do trust me on it.

 

I'm sorry this happened and I admire your conviction to him and his family.

PS-- will he wear noise muffling headphones? https://www.nationalautismresources.com/discount-ear-muffs/   I have seen them help a lot.  Also, is there a behavior therapist on his school team?  If so, get a copy of his BIP (Behavior Intervention Plan) and his FBA (Functional Behavioral Assessment.  Mom may have them or can get them as they must be shared with parents.  Reading those documents may give you some more clues.

I was messaging with his mom last night. I asked how he was doing and told her not to give up on him. I told her your feeling that the wind/air pressure had something to do with it. She said she is going to at least keep him home next week to give me a bit of a break. She had not thought about the wind, said that made sense. I’ll give my rib a few days before I decide about x-rays. They don’t do anything for them anyway.

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3 minutes ago, jsharr said:

Thank you for doing what you do Longjohn.  So many give up on the kids on the fringes that do not fit in.  Glad you are not one of them.

He was making so much progress before this step backwards I can’t give up on him. I believer we are on the edge of breakthrough.

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