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My wife had a birthday on Sunday. The granddaughters made a big deal out of it. I had babies on my lap and didn’t get pictures. My wife took a picture of the cake that the girls decorated for her. After they sang happy birthday to her the sun came out (it was still raining) Celia said where is the rainbow? She went to the window and there it was. I didn’t get any pictures of the birthday girl so here is a picture of her from two weeks ago. I told her I still need her and will still feed her now that she is sixty four.

Someone snuck it back on my desk. No one is admitting. No note. No explanation. Sneaky bastards they are. Not 20 minutes after it was returned, someone came up to me and said "I locked myself out of my office. Can you unlock it for me?" More importantly, my Fly Racing lanyard has been returned.

They will do some follow up testing as still not sure why she was so sick but she will be discharged this afternoon. This makes Grandpa happy. ?

My reply to this request. Some people have no sense of humor

FIFM. ...and thanks. I will take your fear as a compliment.

No, but I'm going as the Amish Mafia.

The Key Saga is a prime opportunity for you to make up some totally fictitious administrative process to get these people out of your hair, but still support them. These people forget their keys because they know they can always depend upon you to make it easy for them when they need to get into their offices. You can still 'support' them, but make it less easy, and they will start remembering their keys more often. For example, you can totally make up a process where someone who has forgotten their key has to sign in your key request book. Justify the process because someone took your key and didn't return it right away. You don't give them your key - ever - but you make them sign The Book anyway. While they sign the book it gives you a few moments to finish what you are doing, creates a record of who is the 'most forgetful', and makes it a bit more embarrassing and troublesome to ask for you to open their door. You're still opening the doors, and still supporting them. But now they know it's not so easy. And if it's not so easy they will pester you less frequently. That will reduce the risk of someone having the opportunity to lose your key on you again. You are The Queen of the Office, so you can make up any process you want that adds just a little bit of difficulty to forgetting a key. And, if you put your mind to it, I'm sure you can come up with something that would put the Tybee Permit Lady to shame.

The reason it was snuck back is likely your co-workers, like most of us, are totally terrified of you, cause you are a badass.

You could go as Burl Ives as the Amish Mafia.

Yinz couttent git Primanti's in Bloomfield, ud have to go dahntawn to git a jumbo sammich n'at. Maybe wit a pop, or an Iron.

You can do many things with celery, but first you're going to need a blonde, a poodle and a 6 foot long salami.

Now that he's dome with baseball (dropped last week) he's looking for other things to do to stay active. I took him on a mtn bike ride a few months ago and he really enjoyed it. I told him I was going to do some hot laps at a local park after work and he said he's in! BTW he's freaking killing it in our softball league. 980 Batting Average. Not On Base % but BA. He also had 2 outfield assists last week and has about a dozen so far this year. There are a lot of former college ball players in this league but most haven't played competively in 10 or more years.

At least they aren't Ohio or WV. And LongJohn (and Further) is good hearty W PA stock. Ralph and I got kicked out.

One more pic

FINALE???? How the heck is this a finale??? Where is the REVENGE? Where is the MAKE SOMEONE CRY? Where is HEADS WILL ROLL? There is so much left in this saga that this is only a beginning and certainly not a finale. Tom

Anytime someone asks you to unlock a door respond with "at least you didn't just take the key like last time". If they look confused, scratch them off the list. If they look guilty, you've got your culprit! Sure, you'll offend most of your coworkers, but that's a small price to pay to get an answer!

@RalphWaldoMooseworth

Yes, and it includes school taxes too.

This seems like a foreign language to me but you tech people make millions of dollars so buy what you like.

I do the same and add tofu pits for extra flavour.

GAH! Begone! Both of you! Look to TM as an example of civilization and proper comportment, is all I might recommend to the pair of you! Your collusion is intolerable, and shall have no effect on my version of reality! And to show I still esteem you and jsharr, I baked you both a piece of pecan pie (without beans) for you to share.

Have it with cream cheese and pretend you're eating appetizers in the 1950's.

Are your eyes really dilated or did they just get big when you heard snow in the forecast?

I think you showed remarkable restraint in not adding the cameltoe

I am going as a like whore. I am wearing my costume right now.

Make him regret his decision. Just up the pace every lap until he cracks like an egg. It is the only way kids learn. Tom

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01N4ENDXR/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 And despite it all, there are still monitors many times more expensive than this one. Does anyone else have a penchant for spending too much on technology?? I CAN'T STOP! Also, first post I've created in two years. I feel like a forum noob again.

Listen, Chris, as your friend I think your plate is already too full to take on another onerous task. If I PM you my address, you can just send the money along and I'll take care of pissing it away for you. You're always thoughtful friend Maxx.

Loved Paulsen and Krenn

I think she still has DH's jacket too.

How long do you have to keep your head on the printer?

They're right next to Ohio. They're right next to West Virginia. They're right next to Ohio and West Virginia. LongJohn.

Have you checked the laundry room?

Nice! A birthday rainbow. Happy birthday to Nana. I'm less than 3 weeks away from that "Will you still need me" birthday myself.

Oh k can you see Some pics of R G That loudly we hailed Were the forums un doing. perhaps with some assistance from Jimmy.

I can vouch for DH. Although K was nicer. K needs to start with his own forum nonsense. I sense he would be a very nice addition. Should we start a poll? Or maybe a Go Fund Me?

It was me.

Good, because that is the way I meant it

I received a three day ban from work once. I am so misunderstood...

You wound me, sir. Is there somebody over there in charge I may speak to, such as a parody bot? He seems like the sort who would have an intuitive understanding of nuts.

Either pronunciation is correct, especially if one pronounces the word "pie" immediately after.

After I stir my Bloody Mary with it I throw it in the bin

So you escaped?

the left one