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I'm ashamed


SuzieQ
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Basically, people are all the same.  But over much time, we become the product of our environment for the most part.  We are what our surroundings have caused us to be.

 

If you want these people to act differently, I would suggest remaining in their conversation and using the opportunity to try and have some positive effect on their outlook of others.  People can and do change if they are exposed to more enlightened and reasoned views, but it may take a long time for some who have been taught to think a certain way to accept opposing ideas.  The old cliche about a journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step holds true.  Maybe you can be the first step.   :)

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In my everyday, work-a-day world, I see it all the time. Its everywhere and can't be avoided. It seems people even invent reasons to hate. :(

But my personal life, (by choice), is admittedly sheltered so as not to see it much in my own little world. 

This is it, I now lead a pretty sheltered life when it comes to horrid people, maybe that's why it's so shocking, I just haven't been around people like that for a very long time.

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If you want these people to act differently, I would suggest remaining in their conversation and using the opportunity to try and have some positive effect on their outlook of others.  People can and do change if they are exposed to more enlightened and reasoned views, but it may take a long time for some who have been taught to think a certain way to accept opposing ideas.  The old cliche about a journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step holds true.  Maybe you can be the first step.   :)

 

Unfortunately, the opposite can also happen. The attitudes of the people in that group could start to rub off — subtly and slowly — on those who join with the best of intentions. I'm not suggesting this would happen, but it is a possibility which must be considered.

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You have nothing to be ashamed of. In any group of people, there will always be a percentage of folks who are ignorant/mean/racist/hateful. I don't believe you fall into that catagory nor do I believe you would put up with people who lived like that.

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  • 3 weeks later...

of a lot of South Africans in a fb group that I joined.  A great majority of them are racist, ignorant, and hateful.  I will unjoin the group! :huh:

 

Just playing the devil's advocate here, but I have noticed a couple of types of racist people.  

 

The first are racist for no real reason other than they have been taught to be racist while growing up, family members or the whole community are a rotten lot, that kind of thing (imagine Texas).  The second are the types that aren't ignorant, but have been informed by experience.  For instance, being robbed or beaten up several times by black people will get you pretty reasonably racist if you are a white dude, which happened to an acquaintence-level friend who I knew when I lived in CA  (first time robbed and beaten was in Philadelphia, the next couple in CA).  Another CA racist triathlete friend had been hassled many times on the bike (including being forced off the road twice, one time breaking a collarbone), always by hispanics.  He is sure that the bulk of hispanics are complete scum, and you aren't going to talk him out of it (I tried, no luck).

 

I think it is up to the minorities to not be violent pieces of shit, and up to the majority to give everyone a chance and not be racist jack-boxes to folks that have done nothing to them.  If that could happen for a generation or two, poof, no more racism.  I will say that most of the worst racists are dying off, and fewer racists are taking their place.

 

Anyway, I wouldn't say all racists are ignorant, just that most are trained to be.

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I like to think of us as "virtual friends" or "imaginary friends". "Fake" sounds so cold! :D

I prefer the term "faux friends". It sounds more hip. :nod head: 

 

Speaking of racism. Today I went to visit my 82 year old dad for father's day. Yowzers! He hates everyone. :huh:  

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Suzie, please do not be ashamed....no one ever thought you were like that...in fact just the oposite...a kind sweet hearted person.

 

 

that other from your country of origin may hate is not your doing......just as the hateful people in this country are not my doing.

 

leaving that group is a smart move as I have found that hate is a terrible thing and it upsets me to even read about it.

 

 

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 Try reading the comments section of online news articles.  :angry:

 

I've stopped doing that.  Finger-pointing has become a national sport.  Everyone wanting to blame someone so they can feel better about themselves in life, while not doing anything positive themselves.  Always someone second-guessing a situation they weren't involved in, as if they were an expert.

 

Too many Nancy Graces.  Not enough of the other kind.  The past five years of my life have done a better job of teaching me to judge less, and realize more that I'm far from perfect.  I'm sometimes chagrined that I didn't learn that as soon or as well as I wish I had.

 

Suzie, always remember this.  It's okay to be ashamed of how some people from your home country have acted.  However, you're not like them, and you have life as an opportunity to be an example of how people from South Africa really are.

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 Try reading the comments section of online news articles.  :angry:

 

The online comments are one area where some terrible choices have been made. When granted anonymity, people are more likely to make inflammatory or derogatory comments. They wouldn't write the same things with their names attached and most wouldn't say the same things in a face-to-face meeting.

 

A few years ago, the company which owns our paper made the decision to use Facebook commenting rather than anonymous commenting. If someone posts a comment under a fake name, we are to delete it. The volume of comments dropped, but the tone improved significantly. I'd like to see more news outlets follow this example.

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When granted anonymity, people are more likely to make inflammatory or derogatory comment

 

 

I know, that used to be the best part of the Internet, then all the anti-bully Nazis stepped in and now we have to sign in with a FB account. :angry:

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I know, that used to be the best part of the Internet, then all the anti-bully Nazis stepped in and now we have to sign in with a FB account. :angry:

I have a separate FB account to bully people with. Set up under the false name of Jsharr, and has KT's address and phone number. 

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