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I think my cat turns on the lights when I'm not looking.

When asked for references. Make sure you give three names of guys, and relationship should be cell mate.

I'm a busy man with a lot of offers, so let's cut to the chase, what can YOUR company do for ME?!

Why are you sitting in my chair?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

The tires on that one look a little under-inflated...

rateG bJo sabuDsbm

Life and age have a way of changing our realities. I never thought I would acquire the typical problems associated with aging because I took care of my health by making good choices and exercising religiously for most of my life. I certainly never wanted to be taking medication of any sort. But guess what? Shit happens. You don't control most of what happens to you as you age. You can think whatever you want, but until you've walked the mile, all the crap you believe about aging, disease and managing serious health problems is just that; a bunch of crap.

It's about time you've finally accepted my superiority!

Like this?

I like pizza so much, I would choose it as a topping on another pizza.

Cat pizza is good. - signed, ALF

But you rescued an 11 year old....good job

When I moved back to town about 5 years ago, I had dates with Denise and Jill to see if there was a spark. Nada. Then I met BuffCarla and the rest is history.

My friend Jamey suggested a ride this morning. Up Skyline Drive. Not wanting to appear to be a wuss i agreed. We left at 8:30 and drove the hour out 66 to Front Royal. At the Dickey Ridge visitor center the temp was 12F. I said to Jamey, not the last time either, this was your idea. We headed out and on the first downhill, I rode the brakes cause it was freaking cold. At one of the many overlooks, a photographer was taking pics of the ice falls seen below. He felt better about his own sanity after he met us. Jamey and I took pics of each other. I sent his, but haven't seen me yet. A car with three coeds stopped to check out the falls and take pics. I took one with the three of them. They haven't sent that one to me either. A beautiful day on the Drive, but cold. I was dressed ok with my heaviest gear but even with handwarmers on my shoes, at the end my feets were numb. Stats: 27.45 miles, 2,484 feet climbed, 2:09 with a max speed of 35.98.

I've been fighting a cold all week, and didn't realize how much it was impacting me. I decided this past weekend would be a good chance to catch up on some rest. I slept till past 10 each day, had breakfast in bed, did some quick shopping at the store, had lunch, napped most of the afternoon, took a shower and had dinner, and then went to bed early. I slept away most of the weekend, and then Monday was here far too quickly. I want my weekend back!

I saw something that what really happened is the missile test clerk said "Alexa, play It's The End Of The World As We Know It" and Alexa said "OK, Sending Incoming Missile Alert."

If you need help, let me know. I just fixed a bunch of breakers at jsharr's place that were blowing.

I think a good programmer would have put in another step like "Do you really mean missile alert" in flashing red............just in case disambiguation? When I did control systems software it was always better to assume that the human might have made a mistake.

BOMB DEFUSAL INSTRUCTIONS 1. Cut the red wire 2. But only after you have cut the green wire

Glad he used copper wire instead of aluminum. Aluminum can cause fires.

Do I have to take the sexual harassment training? I already know it by heart. I had to take it seven times at my last job...

If penguins have kneecaps why do they waddle back and forth.

How long is lunch break? When can I take my first vacation? Do I really have to work Fridays? If I identify as a female can I use the woman's restroom? How many sick days do I get every month? All good questions you will need the answers to.

Oh yeah, nice undies.

Congrats! Keep up the good work.

Hard to keep the instruments in tune at those temps!

We put down fresh straw, and all can get into the barn area. Pretty funny I wrote snow instead of straw.

My main drummer is booked solid, the backups are just getting started.

His mom came and got him just a bit ago. All is well, and she is going to let the two a-holes have it... Granted I would not take her serious while she is wearing a mini skirt, Saints jersey and hooker boots...

I will just say that someone has to be an A#1 super idiot about pills if you have tried time and sleep and hydration and stretching and none of it worked, and you are still too stupid to take the pill. You deserve your own misery at that point, as it isn't stoic or heroic or admirable in any way to sit and stew in easily treatable pain and do nothing, then backslap yourself over it for some reason like a damn tree-hugging hippie. There really is no other reasonable way to look at it other than borderline brain damage. Try all the natural stuff you can think of, but take the damn medication if it isn't working. Know when to say when. Don't get all holier than thou when all that gets you is stupid. Treat the pain and the syptoms, you aren't doing anyone any good by being a lump of pain, people. Geez.

My brother in law is a pretty decent drummer. Here he is at work.

My grandson was in London Ontario with his mother for the weekend to compete in a hockey tournament. The Prime Minister also happened to be in London, and staying at the same hotel. He graciously posed for a photo shot with a group of hockey moms. My step daughter is on the immediate right from him. (his left) Unfortunately, my grandson was not present for the shot.

PINATA!!!!!!

Pea Soup heavy with left over ham from yesterday's dinner.

..never mind. Wrong flakes.

Thanks TK. This time around (same coach) I asked for a day off. I told him the same thing as before that I will do whatever he asks of me, but now we talk about it a little more. He had me running too many miles too soon. We backed off. So far I have not had riding and running on the same day. He wants me to swim, but I already belong to two gyms and neither has a pool. Plus there is the small issue of me not being able to swim. I am trying to listen to what my body tells me. I have big plans for this summer, and am working hard to accomplish them

That is more of a statement

Ask if you can expect to hear any of their names added to the metoo list.

I usually get a headache or two a week. I can almost always trace them to either a lack of hydration, or, um, "GI delays". I don't hesitate to take a couple Advil - they almost always work, and fast. I don't think a couple ibuprofen per week is going to hurt me. Tylenol does nothing for me as far as headaches. I never wanted to have long-term medication, but at the very least I will be taking a thyroid hormone pill every morning for the rest of my life.

No cat thanks, but the dressier it comes, the better. All the usual veggies, onion, peppers mushrooms, olives, (wait, that's fruit ain't it?) ,bacon, sausage, lotsa cheese, (mmmmm Cheese).

Great picture! Is he saying, "We're aboot to change our laws to match Trump and let in mostly Blonde White Females!"?

I used to be a light-out enforcer, but today I'll leave 9W CFL bulbs burning. I'm paying $0.0739/KWH for electricity, so leaving a 9 watt bulb on an entire day costs 0.009 x 24 x $0.0739 = $0.0159624, about 1 and 1/2 cents.

I swore when I paid the bill that I would never become an enforcer. I leave them on just because I can sometimes.