Thursday night at the ER

[Parsnip Totin Jack ★]

I'm working from home. It's an hour to quitting time. Mom's assisted living place lights up my phone. "Jack, it's Rosabel (one of the nurses there). Your Mom isn't feeling well. She hasn't eaten her breakfast or her lunch, She is lethargic and not looking well." I call Mom's doctor at Kaiser and conference Rosabel into the call. Rosabel delivers her concerns to the advice nurse. Advice nurse talks to doctor, tells me they want Mom in the ER. I call my boss to say family emergency, I'm leaving early and Mom calls. Why am I going to Kaiser? Because you won't eat and you're asking staff where your Mother is (deceased about 28 years). I don't want to go (real reason: I don't want another 14 day quarantine). You don't have a vote now Mom. I'll be there in 15 minutes, be ready. I'm still my pajamas, can I go to the doctor in my pajamas? If you got slippers sure put them on, doctor won't care. Mom's dressed by the time I get there, so she's pretty lucid. We drive to the hospital and go to the Emergency Room. No visitors and Covid signs are everywhere. They don't want to let me in with Mom until I ask, how are they going to get information about why she's here? She is loopy on a good day. I get a wristband and a free temperature scan (97.3). Triage goes well. Vitals are good. She gets a room with a bed. The nurses come in and hook her up for monitoring. BP, temp, oxygen, EKG, fluid, etc. While they are taking her clothes and replacing them with a back-ass gown, I go wait in the hallway. All clear I go back in. Next is X-ray, they wheel that in. Covid test next, I'm back in the hallway. Urine, well, she was hooked up all kinds of ways, can't go pee in a cup so they use some kind of catheter. Mom did not take well to that. Now she has to pee. Before she didn't need to. NOW she does. Nurse brings some fancy vacuum device that goes on top of the hoohaw and vacuums the pee away. I've never heard of such a thing, but I'm a man so what do I know. Back in the hall I go. In the hall, I'm seeing things that pique my interest. I was an auditor for many years and I notice things. There are guys in the hallway who do not belong. They are not medical; one is in BDU's, an older guy and two others who are classic Secret Service types. Young guys with close cut hair. Fit. Suits, The bearing of guys who once served in the military. One has the earpiece with the coiled wire-behind-the-ear. Interesting. They are hovering around the room around the corner from Mom and down the hall where they huddle and speak. BDU guy walks by and I note his name and service. I'm curious. He is Air Force. A general. Interesting. Visitors not allowed but these guys are. Anyway, back to Mom. She is getting whiny and on my last nerve. I am tired. I am hungry and didn't sign up for this. She has to pee. I get the nurse and she figures out after all her education, training and whatnot, that the fancy pee vacuum device did not work as advertised. I wonder what they paid for that per unit and what they're billing Kaiser. Mom is wet, the sheets are wet. Nurse has to clean up and isn't happy. Back to the hallway. Nurse is done but Mom isn't. She has one leg raised in the air while she is drying herself with the hospital gown. Mom, WTF are you doing? I'm trying to dry off. Didn't she wipe you down. Not very well. She has to pee again and won't do it unless she is perched on an American Standard or Toto toilet. JFC. Rather than deal with the nurse, I unplug the EKG wires, fetch Mom her walker and take her across the hall to a goddamn porcelain toilet. Fine sh'e happy for the next five minutes. Next up is the CT scan. When is that? As soon as someone is able to come take you there. But what time is it? It's 8:00 Mom. My appointment is at 8? What appointment? The CAT scan. You don't have a set time for CT scan, they come when they can. When are they coming? Goddamit Margaret, this hospital has hundreds of sick people in the middle of the worst pandemic in 100 years, I'm sorry that they're not able to cater to you. When we can we will leave them a one-star review on Yelp so nobody else comes here. Right then the doctor walks in and hears the tail end of my rant and busts out laughing. Mom has a CT scan in a few minutes and then we can let you go. Thank you for your patience. I was done with patience. I was hungry, tired, and dealing with an 88 year old with the cognitive skills of a three year old. I got Mom back to assisted living at 9:30, and got home myself just before 10. Mom got a turkey sandwich and an oj at the hospital. I got leftover pizza and beer when I got home.

[jsharr ★]

Getting old sucks.  I did not get any secret service guys or generals with my mom's trips to the hospital.

Hope your mom starts feeling better soon.

[ChrisL]

We had similar issues with my mom towards the end.  I completely understand your frustration as I’ve been there myself.

But good on you for taking care of your mom.

[BuffJim]

So maybe next time she tells you the Secret Service guys in suits are following her, you’ll believe her. 

[Longjohn ★]

The last time I had my wife to the ER they ran tests on her all night and then admitted her for two weeks. Then they put her on hospice care and sent her home. Your results were better than mine.

[petitepedal ★]

It isnt easy...thankfully for me I am not the responsibly family member..I am the staff member calling the family...Jerry died on Tuesday..he was on Hospice, Juanita is not coming back...nursing home is her new address, Harold is on a wait list, Kathleen needs socialzation..lack out outside contact has emphasized  her declining abilities. And the list goes on.

[Airehead]

I am sorry that this was your day.  I remember those days all so well with my mother-in-law.  She couldn't remember most things but boy could she latch on to something she wanted.

 

More importantly, how is your mom?  Did they find anything?  And who was with the striped guy?

[bikeman564™]

I know what you're experiencing, hope things turn out better.

[Parsnip Totin Jack ★]

7 minutes ago, bikeman564™ said:

I know what you're experiencing, hope things turn out better.

Thanks, the tests were all negative, Mom is in good health. She was just in a funk because of the Covid lockdowns. She lives in, what once was, a Covid hotspot, with 16 cases and 7 deaths. But she doesn’t want to be inconvenienced. 

[Kirby]

I'm sorry you went through that.  I became quite the expert on emergency room visits during my parents last years.  It was never easy, but I guarantee you in years to come you will be thankful you were able to be there with them.

[Parr8hed]

Raising parents isn't for the feint of heart.  Hope she continues to do well.  

I am curious about the uring vacuum thingamabob.

[Parsnip Totin Jack ★]

1 hour ago, Parr8hed said:

Raising parents isn't for the feint of heart.  Hope she continues to do well.  

I am curious about the uring vacuum thingamabob.

I did the googler for you. It’s called the pure wick. https://www.purewickathome.com/

[shootingstar]

6 hours ago, petitepedal said:

It isnt easy...thankfully for me I am not the responsibly family member..I am the staff member calling the family...Jerry died on Tuesday..he was on Hospice, Juanita is not coming back...nursing home is her new address, Harold is on a wait list, Kathleen needs socialzation..lack out outside contact has emphasized  her declining abilities. And the list goes on.

You're an amazing person petite....to do your job.

[Kzoo]

7 hours ago, Kirby said:

I'm sorry you went through that.  I became quite the expert on emergency room visits during my parents last years.  It was never easy, but I guarantee you in years to come you will be thankful you were able to be there with them.

This.

 

[Longjohn ★]

7 hours ago, Old No. 7 said:

I did the googler for you. It’s called the pure wick. https://www.purewickathome.com/

They advertise the crap out of those on the old people station my wife watches. I would expect those to work about as good as they worked for  your mom. The tv add shows some sweet old lady that apparently is healthy but has issues with bedwetting. I clicked the buy now link and it took me to a page wanting all my information and wanted me to call them. Must be frightfully expensive. My wife has a regular catheter. A bedpan doesn’t work well for a female when she has to pee. I was suggesting some design changes for a female urinal similar to the cup shield thingy they put on a little boy’s potty seat. I bought a female urinal but they only work for patients that can sit up on the side of the bed. My wife can’t do that. They are designed like a she-wee on a bottle. Our care givers thought it was cool but doesn’t work in our situation. I use it to empty her catheter bag.