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Are you a fat enabler?


Wilbur
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Why do people become that way in the presence of someone who is losing or has lost weight?  Especially when they know how hard you are working at it and how dedicated you are?

Everywhere I go, coworkers and friends are pushing another beer, more wine, more carbs, more dessert.. 

Maybe they just need company for their misery. 

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All of us who went on an August Caribbean Cruise together are paying for all those on-board dinners where we ordered two of each course, so I'm lucky that no one's pushing food at me, lately. There are some amazingly large-meal, low-Calorie frozen dinners I've found lately. One is Marie Callender's very good 24-oz "Meal for Two. Turkey and Stuffing" (also with mashed potatoes and gravy). The whole 24-oz is only 640 Calories.

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29 minutes ago, Wilbur said:

Why do people become that way in the presence of someone who is losing or has lost weight?  Especially when they know how hard you are working at it and how dedicated you are?

Everywhere I go, coworkers and friends are pushing another beer, more wine, more carbs, more dessert.. 

Maybe they just need company for their misery. 

And this is why I don't go to a lot of parties. 

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2 hours ago, Wilbur said:

Why do people become that way in the presence of someone who is losing or has lost weight?  Especially when they know how hard you are working at it and how dedicated you are?

Everywhere I go, coworkers and friends are pushing another beer, more wine, more carbs, more dessert.. 

Maybe they just need company for their misery. 

Go fat and never go back

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Just now, Dirtyhip said:

I'be complained about this before.

They say it all to get you to eat. They even get to the point of being insulting. 

You are rail thin.

You can afford it, you are skinny.

Do you ever eat anything good?

You look too thin.

You must be a vegan.

blah blah blah

Speaking of fat...

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and some just don't care how much they eat because they sit on their biscuit all day at a desk.  Most people don't push me because they know I'm not one for peer pressure and a lot of the people i socialize with realize that I need to maintain a certain fitness level to keep doing my job that I do, so my being careful (but not too careful) is not a big deal

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11 minutes ago, Dirtyhip said:

it is shocking how so much of that comes from other women. 

I have seen my wife and both daughters deal with that.  If men were as critical of other men as women are of each other, we'd just all have sore hands from punching each other in the throat

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18 minutes ago, Zephyr said:

 

I have seen my wife and both daughters deal with that.  If men were as critical of other men as women are of each other, we'd just all have sore hands from punching each other in the throat

You guys are too busy trying to be masters of the universe. ;)

women are about competition with each other.

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2 minutes ago, Dirtyhip said:

You guys are too busy trying to be masters of the universe. ;)

women are about competition with each other.

I've seen some of that in the office with our weight loss challenge.  The women are happy for me but rip one another... Weird.

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45 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

All people make initial judgments based on any shred of information they have, visual, auditory, and anecdotal

No, honestly, I don't.  I have lived long enough to realize that what people look like has no bearing on who they are inside.  Some beautiful people are scum and some rather unsightly folks are the greatest people you will ever meet.

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43 minutes ago, Road Runner said:

No, honestly, I don't.  I have lived long enough to realize that what people look like has no bearing on who they are inside. 

Wrong!  Often what people look like IS indicative of what they are like.  You have lived long enough to reserve that judgment until they confirm or disprove initial evidence, as people are sometimes not projecting by appearances.

 

45 minutes ago, Road Runner said:

Some beautiful people are scum and some rather unsightly folks are the greatest people you will ever meet.

Yes, that is often the case.  Being good looking or hideous doesn't convey as much meaning as the facial expression or clothing type or body type.

I think we are agreeing more than you think, but people will use, and it is necessary to use, those initial judgements to avoid dangerous people and such, or to extricate from potentially hazardous situations.

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20 hours ago, Dirtyhip said:

You guys are too busy trying to be masters of the universe. ;)

women are about competition with each other.

I don't pay attention any more Dirty Hip. People have made comments why I don't seem to eat lunch. I tell them that I eat 2 breakfasts  --1 at home...and then 1.5 hrs. later another at the office. (latter not healthy --coffee and muffin or scone or fresh fruit).

This doesn't really happen in my family in a way that's noticeable at family gatherings...partially because my mother now cooks healthy foods to a point of near blandness....less soy sauce, certainly not fatty, etc. We owe our foundational good health to her cooking. ( yea, a post about my family culinary/eating background). Usually it's potluck and we're so busy chatting that we're aren't even paying attention who is eating how much.  In turn with my siblings and their children, there is casual approach to eating good healthy food, with some decadent stuff.   

Every sibling of mine and their spouse, does some form of exercise or simply walks a lot because a person doesn't drive. We also lost a sibling...and so we aren't wasting time critiquing each other in that kind of way.

I have a good friend who does need to lose weight and has tried in a half-hearted way.  I do nothing except occasionally suggest we go for a bike ride which we have done rarely together. But she llikes to walk a lot so I go along. When she buys chips, I eat some and stop. Because I'm not good either since I do have a dessert here and there.  When she visits me, I just cook my way...which is naturally Asian-healthy..she's very familiar with my style of cooking....because she was raised on the similar food.

As for competition that other women might feel...my reaction for myself..is to ignore it but not talk about food unless other women want to. If people start commenting about my weight or what I eat, then I just say I don't have a car, I bike, I walk, I take transit. Looking the way I do weight wise is not completely hereditary...it takes effort. Finding activity that you love to do ..for life.

 

 

 

 

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I built a carport/deck and stairs for a friends aging mother in Burnaby.  I had known her my entire life as Raymond and I played soccer and baseball together. She never fully learned English but I never learned any Cantonese.  I didn't charge her, it was done to help out an elderly widow.   Every day though, she made amazing foods with fish from her pond and veggies from her garden.  Some of the dumplings she made were an acquired taste but boy she could cook. We ate lunch together and she appreciated the company for a meal even with the language barrier. 

Good food, good culture, good person. :)  

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