Randomguy Posted April 20, 2018 Share #1 Posted April 20, 2018 It is true, you would live a less complicated life. Do this, and report back here how different it is for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Longjohn ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Popular Post Share #2 Posted April 20, 2018 No way, I know some people that never married. I would not trade my life for theirs ever. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #3 Posted April 20, 2018 It's one of those crap shoots. If you find the (a) right person, then it can be bliss., If you tangle with the not-so-right person, it can be misery. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #4 Posted April 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, dotman17 said: It's one of those crap shoots. If you find the (a) right person, then it can be bliss., If you tangle with the not-so-right person, it can be misery. I didn’t find her, she found me and didn’t let go. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #5 Posted April 20, 2018 1 minute ago, Longjohn said: I didn’t find her, she found me and didn’t let go. Are you happy John? I mean -- be honest, Nobody here is reading your response. It's completely safe. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #6 Posted April 20, 2018 26 minutes ago, dotman17 said: Are you happy John? I mean -- be honest, Nobody here is reading your response. It's completely safe. I’m happier than a clam at high tide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #7 Posted April 20, 2018 1 minute ago, Longjohn said: I’m happier than a clam at high tide. Good answer. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #8 Posted April 20, 2018 3 minutes ago, dotman17 said: Good answer. I ask uncle google for help. I couldn’t think of anything witty to say. I thought that sounded better than “I’m happier than a dead pig in the sunshine” or “I’m happier than a tornado in a trailer park” Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #9 Posted April 20, 2018 5 minutes ago, Longjohn said: I ask uncle google for help. I couldn’t think of anything witty to say. I thought that sounded better than “I’m happier than a dead pig in the sunshine” or “I’m happier than a tornado in a trailer park” Hmmmm... I'm gonna go with the "Is what it is" answer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #10 Posted April 20, 2018 I’m as happy as old blue chomping on a catfish head on the front porch was a runner up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BR46 Posted April 20, 2018 Share #11 Posted April 20, 2018 Then who would cut the grass for me? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphie ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #12 Posted April 20, 2018 11 minutes ago, BR46 said: Then who would cut the grass for me? Or bring you a sandwich and a beer! 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphie ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #13 Posted April 20, 2018 1 hour ago, dotman17 said: It's one of those crap shoots. If you find the (a) right person, then it can be bliss., If you tangle with the not-so-right person, it can be misery. Yup! It is basically Hotel California! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Slow_Guy_On_Bike Posted April 20, 2018 Popular Post Share #14 Posted April 20, 2018 I'd love to go back in time and NOT marry my first wife. That was 2 1/2 years of pure misery. If anything, I'd marry my second wife (who would then become my first wife) sooner so we'd have more time together before her passing. 4 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pedalphile Posted April 20, 2018 Share #15 Posted April 20, 2018 Well, I never married, did I do something right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #16 Posted April 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, pedalphile said: Well, I never married, did I do something right? According to RG you did. Some people seem to not want to commit to a marriage and for them it is probably better not to marry. For me my life has been so much fuller and richer having married and raised kids. Now the bonus is the grandkids that are just the best thing ever. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shootingstar Posted April 20, 2018 Share #17 Posted April 20, 2018 A colleague went to a retirement planning session a few days ago. Somehow the speaker dug up a statistic, where a bunch of people were surveyed and asked if they wanted to retire to spend more time with their spouse. Men=65%. Women=40% 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shotgun Posted April 20, 2018 Share #18 Posted April 20, 2018 1 hour ago, Slow_Guy_On_Bike said: I'd love to go back in time and NOT marry my first wife. That was 2 1/2 years of pure misery. If anything, I'd marry my second wife (who would then become my first wife) sooner so we'd have more time together before her passing. I'd love to go back and not marry my first wife either! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #19 Posted April 20, 2018 2 minutes ago, shootingstar said: A colleague went to a retirement planning session a few days ago. Somehow the speaker dug up a statistic, where a bunch of people were surveyed and asked if they wanted to retire to spend more time with their spouse. Men=65%. Women=40% Over a whole bunch of years there are going to be some things that change and not much we can do about it. In her twenties and thirties my wife was the athlete, softball, cross country skiing, hiking, and she loved camping in a tent. As her health changed, surgeries, etc. she just wasn't able to do what she used to love to do. Sure spend more time with my spouse but I still want to keep doing the things that she is not able to do anymore. With retirement I can have both. We have always enjoyed spending time together but we also have our own time. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shootingstar Posted April 20, 2018 Share #20 Posted April 20, 2018 7 minutes ago, Longjohn said: With retirement I can have both. We have always enjoyed spending time together but we also have our own time. My partner would agree with you since he took early retirement over 10 yrs. ago. I see myself also with same attitude: I can have both. He feels I'm not fully exploring the artistic side of myself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisL Posted April 20, 2018 Share #21 Posted April 20, 2018 My wife and I met by pure chance 31 years ago and I often wonder, if just one thing was different we wouldnt have met. I never once regretted my life with my wife but did often wonder what it would have been like if one of those stars didn't align and we never met. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadiejorge Posted April 20, 2018 Share #22 Posted April 20, 2018 6 hours ago, Randomguy said: It is true, you would live a less complicated life. Do this, and report back here how different it is for you. Yeah but then you'll have folks whinging about how they're so lonely and have no one with whom to cuddle on cold nights. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Come Lately Name Posted April 20, 2018 Share #23 Posted April 20, 2018 5 hours ago, Longjohn said: I ask uncle google for help. Yeah, I “collect” those and don’t really have one for “happier than....” 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadiejorge Posted April 20, 2018 Share #24 Posted April 20, 2018 5 hours ago, dotman17 said: Good answer. But do you know if his wife is standing behind him with a sharp object at his back when he typed it? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #25 Posted April 20, 2018 14 minutes ago, roadiejorge said: But do you know if his wife is standing behind him with a sharp object at his back when he typed it? She leaves for work at 3:45am. I’m on my own after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bikeman564™ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #26 Posted April 20, 2018 I never did get married Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Far ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #27 Posted April 20, 2018 Ah, NO! 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Indy Posted April 20, 2018 Share #28 Posted April 20, 2018 In some ways life would be definitely be less complicated, but also much more lonelier as there is no way I'd want any part of today's dating seen at my age. Usually if women are single in their 40's, there is most certainly a reason. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilbur ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #29 Posted April 20, 2018 2 hours ago, bikeman564™ said: I never did get married Steal one! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Far ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #30 Posted April 20, 2018 6 minutes ago, Indy said: In some ways life would be definitely be less complicated, but also much more lonelier as there is no way I'd want any part of today's dating seen at my age. Usually if women are single in their 40's, there is most certainly a reason. Ed Zachary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephyr Posted April 20, 2018 Share #31 Posted April 20, 2018 I did what you asked, RG. I am reporting back as requested. Bottom line..., I saw way less boobies. So I reverted back to my original timeline in the Space/time continuum. Much better.... 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parsnip Totin Jack ★ Posted April 20, 2018 Share #32 Posted April 20, 2018 Knowing what I know now, I would not have made the trip down the aisle. I love my wife and son but not sure I'd do it all over again. If I were to be single once again I'm sure it would stay that way. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Wheels Posted April 20, 2018 Share #33 Posted April 20, 2018 Read Replay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted April 20, 2018 Author Share #34 Posted April 20, 2018 12 hours ago, dotman17 said: It's one of those crap shoots. If you find the (a) right person, then it can be bliss., If you tangle with the not-so-right person, it can be misery. I think half of all married people live in some form of misery or other. I also think way more than half of the rest are in the 'take it or leave it' camp. A small percentage think it is the best thing ever, they chose well, they have a sane partner who lives in the same world. And this isn't counting the divorces, just those who are currently married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted April 20, 2018 Author Share #35 Posted April 20, 2018 8 hours ago, Longjohn said: According to RG you did. Some people seem to not want to commit to a marriage and for them it is probably better not to marry. For me my life has been so much fuller and richer having married and raised kids. Now the bonus is the grandkids that are just the best thing ever. Yes, you did something sensible, Peds. I don't think it is a matter of lack of commitment at all that it the problem, but committing to the wrong partner. People seldom choose well, or are able to grow with someone as life goes on. People are lazy, and stop trying, or just don't care, lots of things out of your control. Chicks are often insane or not rational or are completely unaware, and I say this with great certainty, and with no backing down. That said, I bet you chicks out there will accurately say the same thing about some of the dudes you end up saddled with for the wrong reasons, like a giant schlong or lots of money or somesuch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted April 20, 2018 Author Share #36 Posted April 20, 2018 8 hours ago, shootingstar said: He feels I'm not fully exploring the artistic side of myself. How dare you! hahahahahahaha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted April 20, 2018 Author Share #37 Posted April 20, 2018 7 hours ago, roadiejorge said: Yeah but then you'll have folks whinging about how they're so lonely and have no one with whom to cuddle on cold nights. Who gives a flying hoot about being lonely? Lonely is way better than being miserable, I have no respect for people that can't deal with alone time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted April 20, 2018 Author Share #38 Posted April 20, 2018 6 hours ago, bikeman564™ said: I never did get married There is still time to make a huge mistake for the wrong reasons. How goes it with Bike Club Chick, btw? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted April 20, 2018 Author Share #39 Posted April 20, 2018 5 hours ago, Indy said: In some ways life would be definitely be less complicated, but also much more lonelier as there is no way I'd want any part of today's dating seen at my age. Usually if women are single in their 40's, there is most certainly a reason. Yeah, that reason is that their ex could have been the difficult one, or things just didn't work out, or she killed him, or just never found somebody who was worth keeping. I think divorced chicks would be more likely to be more careful the second time around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtyhip Posted April 20, 2018 Share #40 Posted April 20, 2018 Been married for 22 years and it's still going well. We have fun talking to each other and still look forward to any time we get together. Guess I chose correctly. What I am thankful for is not having kids. They seem to really complicate life. I like to pick up at the drop of a hat and camp, bike, whatever. Plus, they require large amounts of money, and time. Seeing my friends taking them to all kinds of sports meets seems exhausting. Your life is on the back burner and they take center stage. Yuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisL Posted April 20, 2018 Share #41 Posted April 20, 2018 12 minutes ago, Dirtyhip said: Your life is on the back burner and they take center stage. Yuck. Yeah your life becomes about the kids. It can be frustrating at times but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm glad we had our kids young so I had the energy to be an active participant in their lives, especially play time and still have the ability to do what I want now that they are grown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted April 20, 2018 Author Share #42 Posted April 20, 2018 26 minutes ago, Dirtyhip said: Been married for 22 years and it's still going well. We have fun talking to each other and still look forward to any time we get together. Guess I chose correctly. You did choose well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtyhip Posted April 20, 2018 Share #43 Posted April 20, 2018 It was never a priority of ours to have kids. It's one of the most important and biggest jobs. Not something to just do, so we never took that road. Better to choose avoidance than regret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtyhip Posted April 20, 2018 Share #44 Posted April 20, 2018 7 minutes ago, Randomguy said: You did choose well! Thanks. We have an inner banter that is pretty hilarious. He says I am a very funny and witty person. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12string Posted April 20, 2018 Share #45 Posted April 20, 2018 Nothing would convince me to change my life with the wife and kids. Those "complications" were well rewarded, the money spent is just money. I think it's kind of sad to hear the pessimism. Most of the people around me have been happily married for a long time, it reinforces my faith in love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dirtyhip Posted April 20, 2018 Share #46 Posted April 20, 2018 16 minutes ago, 12string said: Nothing would convince me to change my life with the wife and kids. Those "complications" were well rewarded, the money spent is just money. I think it's kind of sad to hear the pessimism. Most of the people around me have been happily married for a long time, it reinforces my faith in love. Pessimism? Kids are just not a thing that everyone should do. It's great that you love your choices. I am thankful for mine as well. Actually, I am a very optimistic person. I just didn't want to accessorize myself with children. That has nothing to do with pessimism. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted April 20, 2018 Author Share #47 Posted April 20, 2018 42 minutes ago, 12string said: Nothing would convince me to change my life with the wife and kids. Those "complications" were well rewarded, the money spent is just money. I think it's kind of sad to hear the pessimism. Most of the people around me have been happily married for a long time, it reinforces my faith in love. Well, it sounds like you chose well and got lucky on top of it, as a number of people here have. Most parents suck at parenting, and most people suck at being good spouses. Misery is misery, and half of all marriages end in divorce and a great many that don't divorce just live a life of quiet desperation. I would be willing to bet that a fair percentage of people you think have happy marriages, simply don't. The ones that don't have happy marriages probably put up a good front, and have just resigned themselves to riding it out until they die. So in other words, it ain't pessimism, it is reality. I think it takes a thinking, aware person to know what is and what isn't for them, as so many people do things for the wrong reasons. If 10% of marriages are truly happy, then I would be surprised, knowing what I know about people and what is observable. You don't have to be pessimistic about your own marriage, but you should realize that the odds are long for most others. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shootingstar Posted April 20, 2018 Share #48 Posted April 20, 2018 2 hours ago, Randomguy said: Well, it sounds like you chose well and got lucky on top of it, as a number of people here have. Most parents suck at parenting, and most people suck at being good spouses. Misery is misery, and half of all marriages end in divorce and a great many that don't divorce just live a life of quiet desperation. I would be willing to bet that a fair percentage of people you think have happy marriages, simply don't. The ones that don't have happy marriages probably put up a good front, and have just resigned themselves to riding it out until they die. So in other words, it ain't pessimism, it is reality. I think it takes a thinking, aware person to know what is and what isn't for them, as so many people do things for the wrong reasons. If 10% of marriages are truly happy, then I would be surprised, knowing what I know about people and what is observable. You don't have to be pessimistic about your own marriage, but you should realize that the odds are long for most others. My partner has 2 adult children from his ex. He did say to me a long time ago if I wanted to have children, he wouldn't want to deprive me. I thought he was crazy ...'cause his enthusiasm was muted. His heart wasn't there to have a 2nd set of children. I chose not to have children in my early 20's...10 years before I met him. No regrets. I am eldest in family and served as babysitter to 5 other siblings. I guess I saw way too much in terms of parenthood stress. It is quite important the woman is clear in her heart and head that she truly wants to have children. For awhile I thought I was abnormal for not dreaming about children and wanting them, when other women around me were getting excited about having babies. I just couldn't spark the maternal instinct love. On the rare occasion I joke: Let's make a baby. So we can see what the baby would look like between you and I. My guess based on my half Chinese nieces and nephews, the child would have brown hair, most likely dark brown or less likely, hazel eyes. The skin would be fairer than mine. Like all babies, baby would be cute. Dearie just laughs too. Instead I'm proud to be aunt of 7 nieces and nephews from 3 sisters. I am also a great-aunt now. The good thing about young kids, it brings out the inner child in a person. For about 10 years I had forgotten how to do baby talk with babies and young children. Until a sister had her lst child. My partner says this of parenthood: He loves his children. None of his children have been into drugs, etc. However he says the enormous effort parents put out for quarter century and often child's lack of awareness for a long time or worse, insensitivity, can sometimes be crushing temporarily in a big way. Sometimes I think it's better not to know every angle, every pothole in life's sometimes, difficult journey ahead or we would never get started on the path at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shootingstar Posted April 21, 2018 Share #49 Posted April 21, 2018 I have been with my partner for last 25+ years. We are thankful to have met each other...at an evening computer course. I could barely concentrate in that course because of dearie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted April 21, 2018 Share #50 Posted April 21, 2018 3 hours ago, Randomguy said: I think half of all married people live in some form of misery or other. I also think way more than half of the rest are in the 'take it or leave it' camp. A small percentage think it is the best thing ever, they chose well, they have a sane partner who lives in the same world. And this isn't counting the divorces, just those who are currently married. I waited until I was 38 the first time and 46 the second time. I got the right gal this time. My plan is to grow old(er) with her. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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