petitepedal ★ Posted March 23 Share #1 Posted March 23 My mother left my dad due to his numerous affairs..the last one was with the woman who was the babysitter..when my mom was in the hospital to give birth to me... Anyway..my dad eventually married the babysitter and had a daughter and the returned from Europe to the states(military)..the babysitter had 2 or 3 children with different GI's trying to get to the US after WWII.. Anyway...my sister has connected with this 1/2 sister and is planning on visiting her....me I have no interest..none. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solution Popular Post Kirby Posted March 23 Solution Popular Post Share #2 Posted March 23 Nope. It would be fine if you were interested, but also fine if you're not. Some shared DNA doesn't create any obligation. 5 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a bunch of numbers Posted March 23 Share #3 Posted March 23 What Kirby said. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petitepedal ★ Posted March 23 Author Share #4 Posted March 23 I did meet her back in about 1980..but I felt no connection 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted March 23 Share #5 Posted March 23 Yes, but it has nothing to do with not wanting to see this per. 😀 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisL Posted March 23 Share #6 Posted March 23 Not in the least. Go with your gut on this one and if you don’t feel the value in connecting with her then don’t. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilbur ★ Posted March 23 Share #7 Posted March 23 29 minutes ago, petitepedal said: My mother left my dad due to his numerous affairs..the last one was with the woman who was the babysitter..when my mom was in the hospital to give birth to me... Anyway..my dad eventually married the babysitter and had a daughter and the returned from Europe to the states(military)..the babysitter had 2 or 3 children with different GI's trying to get to the US after WWII.. Anyway...my sister has connected with this 1/2 sister and is planning on visiting her....me I have no interest..none. No, you are not a bad person at all. Not an obligation on you, especially if it counters your ethics or morality. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shootingstar Posted March 23 Share #8 Posted March 23 39 minutes ago, petitepedal said: I did meet her back in about 1980..but I felt no connection That's your response to sis if she asks/brings it up later. My maternal grandfather had 2 wives...yea. That was allowed for centuries in China before the Communists took over, in addition to foot-binding (which no girl ever got in my family at least 3 generations back). 2nd wife came into grandpa's life when my mom was around 8 yrs. old and she is 2nd youngest of 8. My mom never met any 5 half-sibs from 2nd woman. I have no interest exploring down that family tree branch. No one else in my family gives a poop. Yes, this and other stuff, makes girls and women in my family, a tad more outspoken. Too bad. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddmaxx ★ Posted March 23 Share #9 Posted March 23 Aren't we all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shootingstar Posted March 23 Share #10 Posted March 23 @petitepedal maybe your sis is trying to find a completely different family connection since there doesn't seem to be alot for both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted March 23 Share #11 Posted March 23 48 minutes ago, petitepedal said: My mother left my dad due to his numerous affairs..the last one was with the woman who was the babysitter..when my mom was in the hospital to give birth to me... Anyway..my dad eventually married the babysitter and had a daughter and the returned from Europe to the states(military)..the babysitter had 2 or 3 children with different GI's trying to get to the US after WWII.. Anyway...my sister has connected with this 1/2 sister and is planning on visiting her....me I have no interest..none. Well let’s be clear about this petite. You are a bad person alright but not for not wanting to connect with this babysitter child. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Longjohn ★ Posted March 23 Popular Post Share #12 Posted March 23 1 minute ago, Dottleshead said: Well let’s be clear about this petite. You are a bad person alright but not for not wanting to connect with this babysitter child. Ba ba ba bad to the bone. 2 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Airehead Posted March 23 Share #13 Posted March 23 2 hours ago, petitepedal said: I did meet her back in about 1980..but I felt no connection Then all is done. No guilt. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Further Posted March 23 Share #14 Posted March 23 I believe bad ass is the term 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
groupw Posted March 23 Share #15 Posted March 23 Totally understandable. My paternal grandparents divorced when my dad was young. She slept around a lot even when they were married. Didn’t change after. Dad wanted nothing to do with her and said his half sister took after their mom. He had little to do with her. My mom always tried to mend disputes. When I was 10 she took me to the Woolworth in Rapid City. She introduced me to a lady behind the lunch counter as my grandmother. I had no feelings for her. She was just an old lady working at Woolworth. The year after Dad died, we all traveled down to Phoenix to visit my girls and have a change of scenery for family vacation. Mom got a phone call while there that Dad’s sister was in a hospital down there and not expected to live much longer. Mom said we should go. Much like the grandmother incident, she was an old lady on her deathbed. Similar health issues to Dad. I felt sorry for her for that, but no emotions otherwise. On the other hand, her daughter is my age. Despite everything that was happening, or maybe because of it, we connected right away. She is a terrific person and we have stayed in touch. Kind of fun to have a new cousin. Her brothers, though. The one was nice enough, but we just didn’t have a connection. The other brother basically wanted nothing to do with us. I’m sure some of it had to do with processing that their mom was dying so I respected his space. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MickinMD ★ Posted March 23 Share #16 Posted March 23 5 hours ago, petitepedal said: My mother left my dad due to his numerous affairs..the last one was with the woman who was the babysitter..when my mom was in the hospital to give birth to me... Anyway..my dad eventually married the babysitter and had a daughter and the returned from Europe to the states(military)..the babysitter had 2 or 3 children with different GI's trying to get to the US after WWII.. Anyway...my sister has connected with this 1/2 sister and is planning on visiting her....me I have no interest..none. We have a relative, by blood through our mother, who learned from ancestry.com that the father he grew up with was not his biological father. We told him, "Your parents are those who raised you and you have 99.9% of the same genetics of all humans anyway." So I don't think it's wrong either way to see or to avoid someone who has never been in your life. Personally, I'd be curious. My mother's first cousin. Frank Gadomski, was a WW2 fighter pilot and moved from Pennsylvania to California after the war and a few generations of a large family grew there. I only met him once in my adult life when he stayed with our family for a few days. I showed him around Baltimore and Annapolis. But when he died and was going to be buried in Arlington National Cemetery, alongside his dead wife - a WW2 Army Nurse, the Maryland and Virginia members of the extended family decided we'd take care of all the reception food and drink in a room provided for us by the Arlington hotel the Californians were flying-in and staying at. Our California distant cousins were blown away by all we did! There were about 25 of them and another 20 of us from the East Coast. It was fun to meet them, do the funeral with them walking behind the riderless horse with the boots backward in the stirrups, caisson, witnessing the 21 gun salute, etc. Then we spent hours late into the night talking. That was the first and last time I ever saw them and it was a lot of fun to be with them. There is something a little special about being blood relatives. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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