Zealot Posted June 5, 2021 Share #1 Posted June 5, 2021 Got me thinking. Most of us here are heading into our senior years. How will you respond to your children’s insistence on aging issues - life alert, senior living facilities, driving issues, etc.? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shootingstar Posted June 5, 2021 Share #2 Posted June 5, 2021 hmm... before dearie died ...a year ago, he gave up his driver's license on his own. He was only using 2-3 times in past 8 yrs. We didn't own a car. So it was rental. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphie ★ Posted June 5, 2021 Share #3 Posted June 5, 2021 Owl probably be alright with it. Even though I rarely bike now, I don’t think I will want to give that up. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealot Posted June 5, 2021 Author Share #4 Posted June 5, 2021 34 minutes ago, shootingstar said: hmm... before dearie died ...a year ago, he gave up his driver's license on his own. He was only using 2-3 times in past 8 yrs. We didn't own a car. So it was rental. MrsZ’s grandfather gave up his car when he was in his mid to late 80s. He had limited his driving anyway and recognized that he needed to let it go. His family would talk about telling him to stop driving. When they asked me, I said that it should be his decision; it’s his dignity and he was a very lucid and rational man. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddmaxx ★ Posted June 5, 2021 Share #5 Posted June 5, 2021 I like to drive. It will be one of the hardest decisions in my life. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealot Posted June 5, 2021 Author Share #6 Posted June 5, 2021 7 minutes ago, maddmaxx said: I like to drive. It will be one of the hardest decisions in my life. Me too. And I like to believe it will be my choice, not someone else’s . 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted June 5, 2021 Share #7 Posted June 5, 2021 Since I don't have kids, I'll have to make those decisions for myself I hope I know how to make them in a timely manner. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
team scooter Posted June 5, 2021 Share #8 Posted June 5, 2021 We're only 58 and one of our sons and his wife has been relentlessly working my wife, trying to get us (really her) to move in with them, in Louisiana. "So 'we' can 'retire' and be near their kids". Never mind the rest of our family who has all settled within an hour of where we live now. "There's no catches". Other than I'll need to sell all our vehicles, motorsport toys, etc but we'll be allowed one car. A rule I had for him when he was sixteen, living at home and collected a fleet of rusted oot jalopies'. And of course,,, we'll need to help take care of the kids, large house and four acres of land they just bought. I guess I'll see how much it escalates when Mrs goes down there to visit at the end of the month... 1 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petitepedal ★ Posted June 5, 2021 Share #9 Posted June 5, 2021 31 minutes ago, Kirby said: Since I don't have kids, I'll have to make those decisions for myself I hope I know how to make them in a timely manner. Me too I watch this play out often at work. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealot Posted June 5, 2021 Author Share #10 Posted June 5, 2021 1 hour ago, Kirby said: Since I don't have kids, I'll have to make those decisions for myself I hope I know how to make them in a timely manner. But there are people in your life who will ‘advise’ you, no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealot Posted June 5, 2021 Author Share #11 Posted June 5, 2021 34 minutes ago, team scooter said: We're only 58 and one of our sons and his wife has been relentlessly working my wife, trying to get us (really her) to move in with them, in Louisiana. "So 'we' can 'retire' and be near their kids". Never mind the rest of our family who has all settled within an hour of where we live now. "There's no catches". Other than I'll need to sell all our vehicles, motorsport toys, etc but we'll be allowed one car. A rule I had for him when he was sixteen, living at home and collected a fleet of rusted oot jalopies'. And of course,,, we'll need to help take care of the kids, large house and four acres of land they just bought. I guess I'll see how much it escalates when Mrs goes down there to visit at the end of the month... Maybe you need to have one of ‘those’ talks with your son. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Wheels Posted June 5, 2021 Share #12 Posted June 5, 2021 My kids won't care. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn ★ Posted June 5, 2021 Share #13 Posted June 5, 2021 My son says I need to downsize. I agree with him now but I have to get rid of stuff. I got rid of a ton of stuff after my wife passed but then I got sick. I haven’t got back into it yet. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilbur ★ Posted June 5, 2021 Share #14 Posted June 5, 2021 8 minutes ago, Square Wheels said: My kids won't care. Are they in your will? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Square Wheels Posted June 5, 2021 Share #15 Posted June 5, 2021 1 minute ago, Wilbur said: Are they in your will? I don't have a will. I need to get to that. I have a ton of life insurance, will likely drop some of it soon. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphie ★ Posted June 5, 2021 Share #16 Posted June 5, 2021 15 minutes ago, Longjohn said: My son says I need to downsize. I agree with him now but I have to get rid of stuff. I got rid of a ton of stuff after my wife passed but then I got sick. I haven’t got back into it yet. I wouldn’t worry about that. Let whoever buys the place deal with it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solution Popular Post smudge ★ Posted June 5, 2021 Solution Popular Post Share #17 Posted June 5, 2021 1 hour ago, team scooter said: We're only 58 and one of our sons and his wife has been relentlessly working my wife, trying to get us (really her) to move in with them, in Louisiana. "So 'we' can 'retire' and be near their kids". Never mind the rest of our family who has all settled within an hour of where we live now. "There's no catches". Other than I'll need to sell all our vehicles, motorsport toys, etc but we'll be allowed one car. A rule I had for him when he was sixteen, living at home and collected a fleet of rusted oot jalopies'. And of course,,, we'll need to help take care of the kids, large house and four acres of land they just bought. I guess I'll see how much it escalates when Mrs goes down there to visit at the end of the month... Oh HELL no!! He's looking for free nanny, maid, and groundskeeper. Nope, nope, nope!!! 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealot Posted June 5, 2021 Author Share #18 Posted June 5, 2021 7 minutes ago, smudge said: Oh HELL no!! He's looking for free nanny, maid, and groundskeeper. Nope, nope, nope!!! Sounded that way to me too. But Scooter and Wife should know their son and can hopefully discern his true intentions. But either way, I couldn’t have my children support me or impose restrictions on me as long as I am healthy, sane and lucid. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Allen ★ Posted June 5, 2021 Share #19 Posted June 5, 2021 2 hours ago, Kirby said: Since I don't have kids, I'll have to make those decisions for myself I hope I know how to make them in a timely manner. Same boat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealot Posted June 5, 2021 Author Share #20 Posted June 5, 2021 @team scooter, I just read your post to Mrs Z. Without giving her any of the other responses here, she replied almost word for word what @smudge said.... 😉 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealot Posted June 5, 2021 Author Share #21 Posted June 5, 2021 2 hours ago, petitepedal said: Me too I watch this play out often at work. So my question then would be, if you see that played out at work, are those decisions made by your clients/residents? Or by others? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
groupw Posted June 5, 2021 Share #22 Posted June 5, 2021 When it comes to driving, I will let my kids, not WoW decide if I don't figure it out for myself. I try to be my harshest critic on driving. So far, what I may have lost in reaction time has been balanced by my ability to see things developing so I don't have to make huge reactions. I'm hoping being active will put off the need for other assisted living, etc until the very end at most. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted June 5, 2021 Share #23 Posted June 5, 2021 3 hours ago, Zealot said: But there are people in your life who will ‘advise’ you, no? My sisters certainly would, but they're both older than I am. I'm sure my niece and nephew would help with "big things" but they don't live nearby and I wouldn't expect to see them with the same regularity that their parents see them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
team scooter Posted June 5, 2021 Share #24 Posted June 5, 2021 2 hours ago, Zealot said: Sounded that way to me too. But Scooter and Wife should know their son and can hopefully discern his true intentions. But either way, I couldn’t have my children support me or impose restrictions on me as long as I am healthy, sane and lucid. My opinion, this is our younger son that takes after my wife's controlling side of the family. He joined the military over ten years ago to get away from the family and its inconvenient (for him) hierarchy. Now, after my wife's mother recently passed in a slow decline, Mrs can be easily swayed thinking about her future and future elder care. It's the rest of the family's opinion facing gramma moving away, that our son and his wife (nurse) are taking full advantage of my wife at a vulnerable time. "My wife is a nurse and she and I can take care of you" also using their kids to get the family back he left ten years ago, but on his own turf and his own rules. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JerrySTL ★ Posted June 5, 2021 Share #25 Posted June 5, 2021 After dealing with such issues with parents and in-laws, I hope to be more reasonable than they were. We've already thrown away, sold, or donated literally a ton of stuff so that our kids will have less of a mess. I gave my son all the information he would need about our investments. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bikeguy Posted June 6, 2021 Share #26 Posted June 6, 2021 Yeah WoBG and I are getting older... Overall we are still very healthy. Then again... in 2016 I learned (acute pancreatitis had me in the hospital for 3 weeks) just how suddenly things can change. Based on the genetic history of WoBG's family and my family... The good news, there is longevity in both families. The bad news, both families have dementia / alzheimer's in their late 80s and early 90s. I figure... I have at least 20 years (unless something else gets me sooner) to be self sufficient. Time will tell... I would never expect to move in with our daughter. Nor would I expect her to move back in with us. Where we live... if we can't drive, we can't live here. So one of these days WoBG and I will eventually need to move. Not sure when that will need to happen. Not sure where we will need to move. I'll figure that out later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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