How do you deal with stressful times?

[SuzieQ]

I can't imagine my life without a yoga practice.  It takes care of both my body and mind and the philosophical side being just as, if not more, important than the physical practice! I also rely on getting into the woods, but time has not allowed that lately.

I have been driving down to NJ (3hrs each way) once or twice a week for about a month now to get my mother to doc appointments.  She has a metastic melanoma on her perotid gland. Surgery on the 16th to remove both the gland and level 2-3 lymph nodes.  On top of this the house I am sharing was put on the market a few weeks ago and already has an offer at full asking price - so my search for something to buy has become kinda urgent!  I also have two friends going through intense chemo.  Still trying to teach my teacher training and keep marketing the next round which hopefully will happen and keep the studio running smoothly with the time off I have had to take which also means losing $$. 

So how do you keep yourself together when it all hits the fan at the same time?

[Wilbur ★]

I take a deep breath and soldier on.  Worry and stress accomplishes nothing.  

[maddmaxx ★]

It depends on the stress.  For many things I'm just as cool as ice.  For many years of work I was the solver of problems.  Usually this involved identifying problems before they happened and preparing contingency plans in case they did happen.

For personal problems I'm more likely to break things.

[KrAzY]

Typically I yell and trow stuff when I am overly angry... I can not control myself but have been trying to mellow myself out by doing things I like instead of getting really mad. 
It is slowly coming together

[BuffJim]

I'm a worrier by nature. Prayer and endurance are my answer. 

[petitepedal ★]

Apparently, I am the sounding board for my friend and her stress....  I am not sure she has ever called me just to chat...It is the kid..who is now in a group home and issues related to this, the aunt who died and how her one sister is running the estate...and her other sisters are okay with it...it is her aging parents (and dealing with the same sisters in dealing with parent health issues)  There is her job...that sometimes she wants to job hunt but then she is not sure she can cope with a full time job and her parents or her daughter....and then there is the boyfriend who she isn't in a relationship with

With all of that.....I have no time for my own stress.....

[Scrapr ★]

For me...Simplify.

Focus on the most urgent and priortize. This may mean some things are left for another time

or throw things. I used to do that. Broke too many cell phones. Quit doing that

Good luck and good thoughts

[LoneWolf]

Strategic withdrawal.  Compartmentalize the damage, and close all watertight doors. Turn of all (remaining) emotional switches possible to disable. Then smile dryly, grit my teeth, say something sarcastic, and gut it out.

[Johnny Come Lately Name]

Hunt down the person responsible and kill them.

[Longjohn ★]

I can't really say in this thread how I deal with stress. I don't want to get the thread moved. I have had some stress lately, my crash, my daughter in law having serious complications from gall bladder trouble, my wife having a bad three days last week where we don't know what's going on.

[Dirtyhip]

8 hours ago, petitepedal said:

Apparently, I am the sounding board for my friend and her stress....  I am not sure she has ever called me just to chat...It is the kid..who is now in a group home and issues related to this, the aunt who died and how her one sister is running the estate...and her other sisters are okay with it...it is her aging parents (and dealing with the same sisters in dealing with parent health issues)  There is her job...that sometimes she wants to job hunt but then she is not sure she can cope with a full time job and her parents or her daughter....and then there is the boyfriend who she isn't in a relationship with

With all of that.....I have no time for my own stress.....

Friends like that drain you. If this friend uses you as her emotional dumping ground, it is not cool. 

[petitepedal ★]

Part of a friendship is having someone to sound off with...but it sure the heck drains...when that sound off is all in one direction and ALL the time...conversation never goes to somewhere "lite"...

[Dirtyhip]

In bad times I get really focused and work through the stress.

Exercise always helps. A good schralp takes my mind off stress. You can't stress when you are focused with not crashing. 

[Dirtyhip]

3 minutes ago, petitepedal said:

Part of a friendship is having someone to sound off with...but it sure the heck drains...when that sound off is all in one direction and ALL the time...conversation never goes to somewhere "lite"...

Once in a while, but if you are an emotional dumping ground for her, it becomes unhealthy and you become her enabler. 

[bikeman564™]

A nice fast ride is good too

[Chris...]

Shoot stuff

[Longjohn ★]

16 minutes ago, Dirtyhip said:

In bad times I get really focused and work through the stress.

Exercise always helps. A good schralp takes my mind off stress. You can't stress when you are focused with not crashing. 

[Indy]

[Indy]

1 minute ago, Longjohn said:

How did you get that picture of me?

I don't focus on not crashing, I focus on going fast.

No idea why I tend to crash and hit tress.

[Longjohn ★]

1 minute ago, Indy said:

How did you get that picture of me?

I don't focus on not crashing, I focus on going fast.

No idea why I tend to crash and hit tress.

I need to focus more on not crashing. Broken bones suck.

[Indy]

2 minutes ago, Longjohn said:

I need to focus more on not crashing. Broken bones suck.

No, you just need to crash more so you get really good at it.  I can instinctively dive roll off a bike like there is no tomorrow.  It only hurts when a tree stops you mid roll.

[SuzieQ]

23 minutes ago, Longjohn said:

I need to focus more on not crashing. Broken bones suck.

Was this recent LJ? Sorry I have not had time to be around much.  My thoughts are with you and your wife & daughter-in-law. 

[Longjohn ★]

2 minutes ago, SuzieQ said:

Was this recent LJ? Sorry I have not had time to be around much.  My thoughts are with you and your wife & daughter-in-law. 

Just a broken rib and separated shoulder this time.  About a month ago. First time I ever broke a rib and had no idea they took so long to heal.  Makes it hard to breath, cough, clear your throat, sneeze, laugh, and sleep. I'm thinking about getting back on the bike today, wife's at work so she won't know. My daughter in law was in intensive care for a week. That makes it hard when you have six kids, the twins are only a few months old and were only breast fed up until this time. They took to a bottle with no problems.  She is out of the hospital now and back to nursing them. She has to have surgery once she is healthy enough for it.

[Road Runner]

26 minutes ago, Longjohn said:

I need to focus more on not crashing. Broken bones suck.

BTDT.  At our age, crashing and falling is really not a good idea.  I have changed the way that I ride to try and minimize the chance of my crashing/falling.  Number one is that I no longer keep track of my speed.  Trying to keep my average speed up caused me to do some things in certain traffic and road conditions that weren't very safe or very smart.

As far as stress goes, I guess I've just dealt with it as it comes.  As someone said above, I try to prioritize and attack as required.  The lesser problems may have to wait.  I've never been good at trying to handle lots of different issues at the same time.  I deal with one and move on to the next.  I do better if I stay focused that way.   

[Kirby]

Depends on the stressors.  First I try to do everything I can to fix and control what is causing the stress, and develop 2 or 3 back up plans.  When it's the kind of thing I can't do anything about, I try to just find some quiet time - whether it's a peaceful walk, a silly comedy, sitting with a purring cat or just sleeping.

[Road Runner]

8 minutes ago, Kirby said:

a peaceful walk, a silly comedy, sitting with a purring cat or just sleeping.

What about posting on the Square Wheels Forum?  

[Randomguy]

13 hours ago, SuzieQ said:

So how do you keep yourself together when it all hits the fan at the same time?

I will let you know when I find an effective way, or even a semi-effective way.  Compartmentalize as much as possible is the best advice, and if that doesn't work, then just kind of freak out on slow simmer and don't sleep at all, that is what I am doing.

Do you want to stop here at some point and hang with me and RO?

[MickinMD ★]

I have a network of relatives and friends to whom I can say anything embarrassing and they don't start judging and criticizing me to make it worse.

Usually, having a couple people to bounce my problems off of puts them in a better perspective.

Additionally, getting myself physically involved in yard work, hobbies, and especially playing the piano has a calming effect on me.

Sometimes I need a sad, haunting melody, like Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata or Simon & Garfunkel's Scarborough Fair, sometimes I need upbeat stuff from a John Denver or Broadway Musicals songbook.

Sometimes I mean to play for about 30 minutes to calm down but, when I get there, its often 2-3 hours later.  But at least I'm calmed down.

[Ralphie ★]

That was aboot the only good thing aboot my old Dodge Daytona Turbo.  A little turbo therapy.

[LoneWolf]

11 hours ago, petitepedal said:

Part of a friendship is having someone to sound off with...but it sure the heck drains...when that sound off is all in one direction and ALL the time...conversation never goes to somewhere "lite"...

Friend has to learn balance.  In two ways - spreading that load among friends (not just one) and then, with any given friend, not making darkness the sole topic.

[SuzieQ]

On 5/8/2017 at 10:28 AM, Randomguy said:

I will let you know when I find an effective way, or even a semi-effective way.  Compartmentalize as much as possible is the best advice, and if that doesn't work, then just kind of freak out on slow simmer and don't sleep at all, that is what I am doing.

Do you want to stop here at some point and hang with me and RO?

Yes!  and you can bring RO here to visit

[Further]

I tend to drink.....