ChrisL Posted July 21, 2020 Share #1 Posted July 21, 2020 Opinions requested. Backstory: I work with the corporate real estate team on alarm installs for new branches. They coordinate the numerous deliverables with the Branch Manager, alarms being just one. Normally we have a period of time, a week to 10 day window for install but this time the team lead told me what day they needed the alarm installed and I had confirmed with her the alarm company will install on the day she requested last week. Now sometimes when the situation is fluid I’ll be the intermediary between the alarm company and the Branch Manager. In this case I was told install on the 23rd so I set it up for that date and confirmed with the team lead. Now the team lead is pissed that I didn’t confirm the date with the Branch Manager last week and the Branch Manager can’t be there that date and I made her look bad. I told her you made yourself look bad as that’s a you problem. You told me what day you needed it installed and I confirmed with you the date last week. Don’t get mad at me because you didn’t do your job. So then her boss called me and said what the hell did you do to her, she’s so pissed she called me crying? I told her what happened and she said well OK that’s on her but you didn’t have to be a dick? (She and I get along really well so don’t pull punches). I replied how is me telling her don’t get mad at me for you not doIng your job being a dick? She just replied because you are (laughing) and I said fine, I’m a dick and we left it at that. Her boss said she’d clean up the mess. Fine, let me know if you need my help. So, was I a dick here? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #2 Posted July 21, 2020 Nope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razors Edge ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #3 Posted July 21, 2020 3 minutes ago, ChrisL said: So, was I a dick here? Sure - and she was a pussy! You know what happens next 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Far ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #4 Posted July 21, 2020 Dunno, seems pretty straight forward, but then again, I don't work in a snowflake environment. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razors Edge ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #5 Posted July 21, 2020 Just now, jsharr said: Nope. You didn't read the OP, correct? Too many words? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Zephyr Posted July 21, 2020 Popular Post Share #6 Posted July 21, 2020 IMO the " ... because you didnt do your job" part was dickish. It may have been better to just say "You told me what day you needed it installed and I confirmed with you the date last week." And left it at that. But I am Canadian and probably would have thrown in a 'Sorry' or two. 2 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maddmaxx ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #7 Posted July 21, 2020 ...........if they can't take a joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kzoo Posted July 21, 2020 Share #8 Posted July 21, 2020 Think of baseball. Think of pitching. Think of the changeup. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #9 Posted July 21, 2020 It was probably the forceful bluntness that may have the meter in the dick range. But you simply called a spade a spade. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Far ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #10 Posted July 21, 2020 27 minutes ago, Zephyr said: IMO the " ... because you didnt do your job" part was dickish. It may have been better to just say "You told me what day you needed it installed and I confirmed with you the date last week." And left it at that. But I am Canadian and probably would have thrown in a 'Sorry' or two. "I'm sorry you didn't do your job."? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razors Edge ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #11 Posted July 21, 2020 WTF is the "Is she HOT?" reply???? Is she hot? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donkpow Posted July 21, 2020 Share #12 Posted July 21, 2020 Is this a sexual issue? Because if it is, I don't have anything to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirby Posted July 21, 2020 Share #13 Posted July 21, 2020 Hard to tell without hearing the tone. I'd likely be more annoyed and snarky because her call started out blaming you when you didn't do something wrong. But you never know what else is going on in someone else's day, so sometimes a little grace can buy you some goodwill. If she's not normally the type to cry over work stuff, sounds like there was other stuff piling on. If she's normally the type to be a jerk and blame others, then I think you were understated. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zealot Posted July 21, 2020 Share #14 Posted July 21, 2020 2 minutes ago, Kirby said: Hard to tell without hearing the tone. I'd likely be more annoyed and snarky because her call started out blaming you when you didn't do something wrong. But you never know what else is going on in someone else's day, so sometimes a little grace can buy you some goodwill. If she's not normally the type to cry over work stuff, sounds like there was other stuff piling on. If she's normally the type to be a jerk and blame others, then I think you were understated. Was getting ready to type my answer when Kirby’s came through. This is exactly how I see it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted July 21, 2020 Share #15 Posted July 21, 2020 It seemed appropriate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #16 Posted July 21, 2020 1 hour ago, Razors Edge said: You didn't read the OP, correct? Too many words? Reading is one of the few things I do well. I read his entire post and replied in kind. If you are trying to make me look bad, that is your problem, not mine. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Razors Edge ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #17 Posted July 21, 2020 2 minutes ago, jsharr said: Reading is one of the few things I do well. I read his entire post and replied in kind. If you are trying to make me look bad, that is your problem, not mine. Trying to make HIM look bad, duh! Your "nope" doesn't fit that narrative. Toe the line! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #18 Posted July 21, 2020 Just now, Razors Edge said: Trying to make HIM look bad, duh! Your "nope" doesn't fit that narrative. Toe the line! No, his last line is "So, was I a dick here?" to which I replied "Nope" as he was not a dick. Blunt maybe, direct, definitely, dick, not in the least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisL Posted July 21, 2020 Author Share #19 Posted July 21, 2020 20 minutes ago, Kirby said: Hard to tell without hearing the tone. I'd likely be more annoyed and snarky because her call started out blaming you when you didn't do something wrong. But you never know what else is going on in someone else's day, so sometimes a little grace can buy you some goodwill. If she's not normally the type to cry over work stuff, sounds like there was other stuff piling on. If she's normally the type to be a jerk and blame others, then I think you were understated. Valid take. She’s not detail oriented enough for her job and misses many things. In hindsight my response was partially due to her coming at me straight away and frustrations with past missed details that have added complexity to my job. Her boss knows the deal so has to stay on her constantly. One time I called her boss pissed off over one of her many fuck ups and called this person a fucking idiot not realizing they were in the car together... Yeah we have history... Since I posted this, she sent me an email saying oh shoot I forgot we need an alarm at this branch and are opening next week... Can you get an alarm in next week??! I haven’t responded but again that’s a you problem as she knows my vendor needs at least 2 weeks lead time... Although I have also realized that I know she is a walking cluster fuck and should have confirmed with the Branch Manager knowing she wouldn’t. I’ll own this but I have no regrets on my response. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dottleshead ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #20 Posted July 21, 2020 1 hour ago, Razors Edge said: WTF is the "Is she HOT?" reply???? Is she hot? I'm guessing she is mad at him because she is hot and expected preferential treatment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prophet Zacharia Posted July 21, 2020 Share #21 Posted July 21, 2020 11 minutes ago, ChrisL said: I’ll own this but I have no regrets on my response. Yeah, I think your response was fine, given that she came out swinging with claims you had fucked it up to begin all with. If she wasn’t all accusatory to start, a softer approach would have been justified, but here it’s not necessary. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Further Posted July 21, 2020 Share #22 Posted July 21, 2020 I've noticed that when I start a conversation by calling somebody an asshole, they often treat me like an asshole 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #23 Posted July 21, 2020 Yes, when I saw the thread title I made up my mind the answer was yes without reading any further. Then I read the thread, I’m glad I mostly didn’t have to work with women. 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoseySusan Posted July 21, 2020 Share #24 Posted July 21, 2020 2 hours ago, ChrisL said: So, was I a dick here Two other women seem to think you are, but they’re over it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randomguy Posted July 21, 2020 Share #25 Posted July 21, 2020 1 hour ago, Further said: I've noticed that when I start a conversation by calling somebody an asshole, they often treat me like an asshole What? That is crazy talk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longjohn ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #26 Posted July 21, 2020 1 hour ago, Further said: I've noticed that when I start a conversation by calling somebody an asshole, they often treat me like an asshole We had a guy at work that thought it was funny to call everyone asshole. Some guys didn’t take that well and showed him just how much of an asshole they could be if that’s what he wanted. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Come Lately Name Posted July 21, 2020 Share #27 Posted July 21, 2020 2 hours ago, Kirby said: Hard to tell without hearing the tone. I'd likely be more annoyed and snarky because her call started out blaming you when you didn't do something wrong. But you never know what else is going on in someone else's day, so sometimes a little grace can buy you some goodwill. If she's not normally the type to cry over work stuff, sounds like there was other stuff piling on. If she's normally the type to be a jerk and blame others, then I think you were understated. Get out of here with your well reasoned response.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisL Posted July 21, 2020 Author Share #28 Posted July 21, 2020 46 minutes ago, roadsue said: Two other women seem to think you are, but they’re over it. You know the funny thing is when I tell this story to my wife later I already know she’ll agree with the women. It is what it is at this point... I spent the last 30 minutes pushing my vendor to get an install done next week so she won’t look like an idiot yet again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post MoseySusan Posted July 21, 2020 Popular Post Share #29 Posted July 21, 2020 17 minutes ago, ChrisL said: You know the funny thing is when I tell this story to my wife later I already know she’ll agree with the women. It is what it is at this point... I spent the last 30 minutes pushing my vendor to get an install done next week so she won’t look like an idiot yet again... Dick, and fiercely proud of it. Better the dick you know... Keep your friends close and your dicks closer. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #30 Posted July 21, 2020 1 hour ago, roadsue said: Two other women seem to think you are, but they’re over it. I am over it too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jsharr ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #31 Posted July 21, 2020 22 minutes ago, roadsue said: Dick, and fiercely proud of it. Better the dick you know... Keep your friends close and your dicks closer. That right there is sig worthy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheep_herder ★ Posted July 21, 2020 Share #32 Posted July 21, 2020 Much clearer, when you get the whole story!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donkpow Posted July 21, 2020 Share #33 Posted July 21, 2020 1 hour ago, ChrisL said: You know the funny thing is when I tell this story to my wife later I already know she’ll agree with the women. So it is a sex thing. I knew it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MickinMD ★ Posted July 22, 2020 Share #34 Posted July 22, 2020 You were fine based on the info listed. If you were a dick, it will bother you later since you're obviously a decent person. I don't think it will. I was coaching an 11-12 baseball team and a boy on my team and I were selected to present our "Favorite Oriole Award" to Doug DeCinces back in 1979, on the mound during the 7th Inning Stretch on "Brooklyn-Curtis Bay Night" at the old Memorial Stadium. When the ushers came to our seats to lead us down to the field, my father was sitting next to me and stood up too. I told him it was just supposed to be the kid and me. WHAT A DICK I WAS! That would have been a thrill for dad - who was my asst. coach. That stuck with me and, years later when I was coaching High School Varsity Softball, the monthly County Coaches Meeting at a nice restaurant had been falling off in attendance, so they hired NFL Hall of Famer Artie Donovan, an old Baltimore Colt who wrote the book "Fatso" and was often on Letterman, to give a talk at the meeting. I instantly realized THAT was my chance to make it up to my dad and get rid of the guilt for making him miss-out during that Orioles' game. So I passed dad off as a new assistant coach, took him to the meeting, and it turned out he and Artie Donovan sat right across from each other as we ate dinner, swapping WW2 stories, sports stories, etc. for an hour - each downing lots of beer. Artie was smashed by the time he gave his talk and pulled no punches, making it spectacularly entertaining. I didn't feel guilty any more after that. So if it bothers you even though you weren't wrong, do something nice for that woman! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisL Posted July 22, 2020 Author Share #35 Posted July 22, 2020 2 minutes ago, MickinMD said: You were fine based on the info listed. If you were a dick, it will bother you later since you're obviously a decent person. I don't think it will. I was coaching an 11-12 baseball team and a boy on my team and I were selected to present our "Favorite Oriole Award" to Doug DeCinces back in 1979; on the mound during the 7th Inning Stretch on "Brooklyn-Curtis Bay Night" at the old Memorial Stadium. When the ushers came to get it, my father was sitting next to me and stood up too. I told him it was just supposed to be the kid and me. WHAT A DICK I WAS! That would have been a thrill for dad - who was my asst. coach. That stuck with me and, years later when I was coaching High School Varsity Softball, the monthly County Coaches Meeting at a nice restaurant had been falling off in attendance, so they hired NFL Hall of Famer Artie Donovan, an old Baltimore Colt who wrote the book "Fatso" and was often on L:etterman, to give a talk at the meeting. I instantly realized THAT was my chance to make it up to my dad and get rid of the guilt for making him miss-out during that Orioles' game. So I passed dad off as a new assistant coach, took him to the meeting, and it turned out he and Artie Donovan sat right across from each other as we ate dinner, swapping WW2 stories, sports stories, etc. for an hour - each downing lots of beer. Artie was smashed by the time he gave his talk and pulled no punches, making it spectacularly entertaining. I didn't feel guilty any more after that. So if it bothers you even though you weren't wrong, do something nice for that woman! Doug DeCencis was one of my favorite Angels players back in the day. #11. I loved how the PA man said his name when he came up to bat. Doug De Sinsaaaaay! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MickinMD ★ Posted July 22, 2020 Share #36 Posted July 22, 2020 20 minutes ago, ChrisL said: Doug DeCencis was one of my favorite Angels players back in the day. #11. I loved how the PA man said his name when he came up to bat. Doug De Sinsaaaaay! Back in those days, the Orioles provided - at their expense - current or former baseball players to be the Grand Marshalls at Little League Opening Day Ceremonies throughout the Greater Baltimore Area. Doug Decinces happened to be the guy the Orioles sent to our Opening Ceremonies and he was great, shaking hands and doing high-fives with lots of kids. So, he got the votes for our favorite Oriole! He also hit a 2-run homer to win the game in the 9th, igniting "Orioles Magic." They called it "Orioles Magic" and that game was the game that started it: the Orioles climbing up the standings to win the AL pennant. Afterward, if everyone who claimed they were at that game was really there, the stadium would have had to hold a quarter million people. But I was not only there, I was on the mound during the 7th Inning stretch presenting Doug with the plaque - a thrill by itself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisL Posted July 22, 2020 Author Share #37 Posted July 22, 2020 Unfortunately ole #11 got into some legal trouble for insider trading a few years back and his son also got busted a couple of years ago locally for drug & prostitution charges... Still one of my favorite Angels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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