Facing the inevitable

[jsharr ★]

Dad was born in 1936.  He came from very humble beginnings and made a good life for himself, my mother and my brother and me.   He is a very humble man.  He uses few words.  In the last few years his health has really begun to decline.  Mom and Dad sold their land and house on the lake and moved into town to a bungalow in a retirement community due to this.  

Lately Dad has battle pnueomonia on numerous occasions and when he gets it, he gets week and takes a fall and ends up in hospital.  This happened again this week.  He was hospitalized after a fall and was found to have pneumonia again, as well as a fracture in his back that will require a stay in a rehab facility.   As part of the testing, they believe he may have Parkinsons and they also saw a marker in his blood work that could indicate cancer.  We speak to an oncologist on Tuesday.

Today, the boys and I drove down to East Texas to see Mom and Dad.  My older son asked me if this was hard and I told him it hurt to see my father like this.  He told me he could tell.

I am tyring to imagine a world without my father in it.  It is hard to me to do.  His words may be few, but his love is endless.  I have always known that he is there for me, no matter what.  

I fear that soon we may be speaking of quality of life, not quantitiy of life decisions.

I seldom ask for prayers but I am hurting and do not want my boys or wife to see me crying.  

If you are the praying sort, Dad and I could use them.

 

[Square Wheels]

I have no words of wisdom, but I can feel the pain in your words.  While currently just your virtual friend,  you are my friend  none the less.  Hugs to you.

[Ralphie ★]

Serenity now.

[The_Karen_Cooper_Incident]

I truly love you brother.  

Rick

[Randomguy]

Man, that really sucks.  I was just talking about this with a friend going through it with an uncle, he knows my mom has had three separate DNR's on her in the last 4 years.  It is a part of life, and your dad lives in through you, anyway.  You are lucky to have had him in your life all these years, and vice versa.  I don't know what else to say except I am sorry you have to deal with this.

[AirwickWithCheese]

3 hours ago, Couch_Incident said:

We truly love you brother.  

Rick

[smudge ★]

Hugs and prayers, my friend.

[maddmaxx ★]

Enjoy what you have while you have it.

Keep the good memories for as long as possible.

Change is a constant that requires us all to adapt and compensate.

Best wishes friend.

[sheep_herder ★]

Sorry to hear this.  We'll keep you all in our thoughts and prayers.

[Longjohn ★]

Praying for you and your whole family. How’s your mom?

[BuffJim]

Prayers sent. Tough to go through. 

[Green Grass]

Sorry to hear this, jsharr.  Prayers going to you and pops.

[shootingstar]

I'm very sorry hear of your father's decline. It's very hard to see this.  Be there with him as much as you can. 

[jsharr ★]

4 hours ago, Longjohn said:

Praying for you and your whole family. How’s your mom?

Mom is rock, made of love and grace.  She has faced all of this over the years with her calm, loving manner.  She feels bad for even calling us when she has to take Dad to the hospital.  She is the glue that holds our little family together.  I think many woman are like this.   

Luckily they are active in their church and have many good people around them.  She is not alone.

Thank you for asking.  

[jsharr ★]

The hard conversation is going to be with my boys.  I am not sure what or how I will say what I want to say.  I want them to spend some time with him and make sure they tell him anything that they want to tell him.  I do not think he is going to die tomorrow, but I also do not know how much more his body can take.  

[Rattlecan ★]

So sorry. Your description of your dad fit mine to a t. He's been gone over five years, and I miss him dearly.

As you say, it is inevitable, it comes to us all, but it's always hard. My thoughts are with you.

[donkpow]

I am sorry for your distress. My thoughts are with you and yours.

[TrentonMakes]

 I'm so sorry.

[Zephyr]

Praying for your Dad, and for you.   My Dad is the same age as yours, so I sort of understand.

And let them see you cry.  You, and they will be better for it.

[roadiejorge]

My thoughts are with you; this must be something extremely difficult to handle. I will say though, don't shield your family from your expression of emotion. It's good to have that emotional honesty, and being vulnerable in no way shows weakness; if anything it shows you have compassion and love for the people closest to you. 

[Dottleshead ★]

18 hours ago, jsharr said:

Dad was born in 1936.  He came from very humble beginnings and made a good life for himself, my mother and my brother and me.   He is a very humble man.  He uses few words.  In the last few years his health has really begun to decline.  Mom and Dad sold their land and house on the lake and moved into town to a bungalow in a retirement community due to this.  

Lately Dad has battle pnueomonia on numerous occasions and when he gets it, he gets week and takes a fall and ends up in hospital.  This happened again this week.  He was hospitalized after a fall and was found to have pneumonia again, as well as a fracture in his back that will require a stay in a rehab facility.   As part of the testing, they believe he may have Parkinsons and they also saw a marker in his blood work that could indicate cancer.  We speak to an oncologist on Tuesday.

Today, the boys and I drove down to East Texas to see Mom and Dad.  My older son asked me if this was hard and I told him it hurt to see my father like this.  He told me he could tell.

I am tyring to imagine a world without my father in it.  It is hard to me to do.  His words may be few, but his love is endless.  I have always known that he is there for me, no matter what.  

I fear that soon we may be speaking of quality of life, not quantitiy of life decisions.

I seldom ask for prayers but I am hurting and do not want my boys or wife to see me crying.  

If you are the praying sort, Dad and I could use them.

 

Best of luck to you.  My thoughts are with you.  My father also is approaching the end.  He has degenerative arthritis and is 85.  I moved away from him and feel bad that I am not able to help him any more than I do.

 

I'm really sorry to read this jsharr.

[Wilbur ★]

[Further]

I read this early this morning, didn't know what to say and thought about you quite a bit today at work.

Jsharr you did your daddy proud, you've done well, have 2 excellent sons, a pack of flea bitten hounds, your dad can relax and pass easy, knowing that his boy is carrying the family name in exemplary fashion.

You will miss him, you are the adult now, God help us.

Peace Brother 

[12string]

praying for you, your family, your dad.

Cry WITH your wife and kids.  It's a pain they share.

[Kirby]

Darn, my allergies just suddenly started acting up, or it got very dusty in here.

I'm sorry you're going through this Jsharr.   But I'm glad you've had such a wonderful man in your life for so long and that your kids got a chance to know him as well.  My prayers are with you and your family.