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Forced to say goodbye to my Charlie today

AirwickWithCheese

By AirwickWithCheese
in The Café

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AirwickWithCheese World Champ

AirwickWithCheese

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I woke up today with the idea to spend the afternoon having dinner with Charlie the cat over at MomCheese's. She is at the beach again and tonight was our last night to eat inside before being regulated to the porch again when she returns home tomorrow night. 

I was running late. Typically Charlie wants me there around 2. I decided I wanted turkey franks with sauerkraut so I stopped by the store on the way. 

Mom's neighbor met me at the fence. She has always called my Charlie, "Dude" since that was his given name by the neighbor who abandoned him what?, at least 5 years ago. 

Charlie chose to still "live" at his former house as if he believed she would return for him someday. However, I was Charlie's meal ticket and he in turn gave me lot's of love. 

MomCheese isn't always home to welcome me when I drive over. Grandkids, family, church, I sometimes have to take a turn in line for love. 

Not with Charlie. Our relationship was based on dependence and mutual friendship. I had just switched him to the large turkey pate cans which seemed to be his favorite. 

Charlie was there for me the night I lost Philly Cheese. MomCheese was at the beach again that particular night. When Philly died in my arms, I just started walking the 4 miles to Mom's. I didn't know what I was doing, I just didn't want to be alone and in so much pain so I started walking to my Charlie at 2 in the morning. 

I remember talking to RG on the way. I love you RG, thank you for being my friend. 

I arrived on a weird, September morning. I sat with Charlie on the porch and cried. I then went inside and tried to sleep but I always ended up on the porch with my Charlie. 

Food purchased, I was at Mom's ready to have dinner with my Charlie. 

"Cheese, Dude is gone. He died crossing the street when he was on his way over to your Mom's."

My heart broke again standing in that driveway that I have loved for the last 49 years. 

I am home now. I am thankful Sam and Edgar need me but MomCheese's will never be the same. 

Good days, bad days, Charlie needed me and I needed him. 

I loved you Charlie. I think you knew this but I will miss you and it hurts. 

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AirwickWithCheese World Champ

AirwickWithCheese

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9 minutes ago, Further said:

Cheese, I liked your post as a show of support, I don't like that your buddy died. My condolences   :(

I understand my friend. The kindness of all of you is not only appreciated, it's needed. 

After neighbor broke the news to me I walked into MomCheese's with the food I had brought to make our dinner. It was less than a minute when I realized I needed to leave as soon as possible. 

First thing I did was reach out to one of our favorite forumites. I don't know exactly why other than I knew they'd understand. 

They called right when I got home and needed to talk. Thank you wonderful person. 

Truthfully I'm not ok. I remember the dispair I felt in September when I lost Philly and right as summer was ending. 

It seems like loss should get easier and be proportional. It's not. The wise forumite used the word cumulative and that's an overwhelming thought as you get older. 

This is not ok but what can you do? 

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LoneWolf Baroudeur

LoneWolf

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My Gretel (the orange tabby princess) is sitting on my chest as we mourn your loss.

There are people who will depart this earth that I will shed no tears over.  But when my still hearty, hale, (currently) twelve-year-old-and-acts-like-six Gretel goes someday, I will bawl like a teenager whose heart has been broken for the first time.

I wish you the best, Cheese.

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Kirby Flahute

Kirby

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I'm so sorry, Cheese.  Your posts are making me cry - that was a lovely tribute to your friend.  There is something special about an outdoor cat - an independence but when they learn to love and trust you, it's very flattering.  You have to earn an outdoor cat's affection. Charlie was lucky to have you in his life, and you were lucky to have Charlie.    The life of an outdoor cat isn't easy, but you made Charlie's a lot easier.  Hugs.  :(

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Airehead Flahute

Airehead

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The loss of anyone you love is tough-- human, canine, feline or whatever.  It sucks and it hurts.  The only solution is to never love again---- that sucks more.  Hugs my friend.  Please know in the greater plan, that the next animal who you will love will find you when the time is right.  Lindy, Ryan, Tillie, and I lit our special candle and sat for an hour thinking about Charlie.  Ryan wants to know if Charlie really got to eat the Wendy's burger.  I said yes and now he wants to move to Greenville.

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Randomguy Flahute

Randomguy

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I am incredibly sad to learn about Charlie, he sounds like an amazing cat, and I know how much that loving animals mean to you.  They are part of our habits and rituals and our thoughts, and it is so tough when they are gone, suddenly or otherwise.  Charlie led a richer life for having known you, and probably brought joy into the lives of others in the area, too.  It was great that he had a chance to spend time with you, and I am sure he appreciated not just the food, but the afternoons he had with you.

 

I am so sorry for you.  :(

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