panhandlers

[Airehead]

Tell me about the panhandlers you have encountered.  DO you give them money? Food? Something else? Nothing?

I'm thinking about this because the panhandler who sometimes shows up by the building where my office is was here yesterday in the rain but standing under our awning.  He is an older guy.  Well dressed and had an overcoat on.  He asks for precisely five dollars to get home because his wife had to come to the hospital by ambulance and he rode with her in the ambulance and now does not have a wallet.  His preferred spot is in our parking lot but by the bus shelter.  

Yesterday, I offered him a granola bar because that is what I had.  He politely declined.  Then I asked him how many wives he had because I've been hearing his story for more than 5 years.  He said sorry Ma'am and wandered off.

I really wanted to offer him a ride somewhere but I figured that others who knew me might be upset that I had done that.

Honestly over the years, I have given him food and taken him to the lunch place for a meal of his choice.  I haven't given him money but I'd like to.  Social workers being social workers-- one has tried to give him info on services.  I think our staff, when schools are open, are actually easy marks because of their big hearts.

[Kirby]

That's a hard one.  I don't really encounter them in my current town, but I do when I'm in NYC.  My problem is that while some in the city are just people who are down on their luck, others can have a serious mental illness or use panhandling as a pretext for robbery.   So my city upbringing tends to not engage for safety reasons, although I try to keep some money apart from my wallet so that I can quickly give some money if it seems prudent.  At the same time, I try to support organizations in the city that are doing good work to support people who need and are able to accept help.

The situation you described is different in that I didn't get a sense of danger from the situation.  The problem is whether there is anything you can really do to help.  One friend carries a number of gift certificates to a local fast food place like a Dunkin Donuts or Subway to help ensure their gift is being used for food.  But you also don't want to encourage strangers hanging around an area with children.   You have a very caring heart, Aire, and that can sometimes make life harder.

[Parr8hed]

I pretty much ignore them for the most part.  I can't fix everyone.  I rarely carry cash. 

[donkpow]

Oy, do I have stories. I am always among "the people" since I ride a bike. A good story is almost always mandatory with higher pay for better stories.

[Wilbur ★]

No.  Some have better jeans than Couch!   I used to give change to old ladies and kids in Russia and Ukraine as there is so many destitute there.  Then I found out they are controlled by the mafia so I stopped. 

[shootingstar]

I've been approached by panhandlers over the years in all the cities where I've lived.

Most of them are polite.  Then there are others who don't seem well.

Once I gave a banana to one because I had one.  He thanked me.

Nothing wrong with giving food, 

I'm a small person and there are times ...I just need to feel safe. 

 

[Parsnip Totin Jack ★]

I feel for them but never give them cash as I rarely have it. The homeless population here is growing exponentially and the employment losses are going to add to the problem. Most major intersections have panhandlers on the medians. A mile or so from my house, there is a homeless camp in the woods with no fewer than thirty tents. Once the leaves fill in you won’t be able to see the tent city.

[Mr. Silly]

I typically ignore them.  There were two times when I helped though.

Once I was leaving work.  I was working in a huge office building with restaurants in the lobby.  As I was passing a Big Boy a guy missing a foot asked me if I could buy him a burger from the place.  He said they wouldn't let him in the restaurant.  He was dressed and smelled like you'd expect a panhandler to dress and smell and I could see why the restaurant wouldn't give him service.  So I went in and ordered a Big Boy with fries and coleslaw and a slice of strawberry pie for desert.

I was riding my bike the other time I helped someone.  I was riding through the city when a guy in a wheelchair flagged me down.  I turned around and ask what he wanted.  He said he was kicked off the bus because he shit himself.  It smelled like he was telling the truth.  All he wanted was to know if there was a store where he could buy a new pair of pants.  I told him that I thought there was a place around the block and asked him to stay there while I rode there to check.  I was right, there was a sporting goods store there.  I went in and bought him a pair of sweat pants and gym shorts for him.  I rode back and gave them to him and left.  It wasn't until I told Mrs. Grumpy about the incident that I realized I didn't tell him where the store was so I don't know where he went to change his pants.   

[Further]

I used to always give them a dollar or two, but when the heroin scourge became so widespread and help wanted signs were popping up every where I quit  

[ChrisL]

Homelessness tends to go hand in hand with mental illness & drug use.  As such I tend to stay clear and don’t engage them. They usually don’t approach me either.  

The ones I often come across don’t want food or water, they want drug money to feed their addictions.

[Razors Edge ★]

1 hour ago, Airehead said:

He asks for precisely five dollars to get home because his wife had to come to the hospital by ambulance and he rode with her in the ambulance and now does not have a wallet.

That's the standard MO for some panhandlers - offer a made up story about needing a specific amount of money for something.  In DC, it's generally $$$ for a Metro card, and the same story is repeated daily.  It used to be (still might be) a sign saying "Help me get home to California/NY/Florida" when near a transportation hub.

In general, as mentioned, panhandling often boils down to mental health issues and/or housing issues, and really, local charities will make the biggest impact on that sort of thing as your $5 will be pooled and used efficiently rather than going to one person, one time, with no specific direction.

[Randomguy]

In the last couple of years, I have occasionally bought food or bottles of water for some, and even coffee when below freezing for people spending the night on the sidewalk.  When I was with the quarrelsome ex that you met, we gave to a couple of homeless charities and bought furniture in a store that donated the profits to a charity that supported homeless AIDS patients.

It is tough to deal with the homeless here because you can't help all of them, and wanting to help is a basic human thing.  There is some dissonance related to turning someone down in need, so that pisses your subconscious off.  

The homeless outreach here is actually quite good.  I have seen a few trying to talk some homeless folks into a shelter for the night, and they tell everyone not to give cash.  They say get food or drink instead, and to offer your leftovers or even half-drunk bottles of water, the real homeless appreciate it and will take it.  The addicts not so much.

Your guys sounds like a scammer, Aire, I would refuse helping him.  Tell him you donate to homeless outreach programs and to seek them out if he wants your money.

[petitepedal ★]

My hair stylist makes up bags..granola bars  or snacks stuff like peanut butter or faux cheese and crackers and maybe tooth brush, hand sanitizer..tampons..In the winter she might have socks, gloves and a hat...and she makes them up for both men and women..more for men than women  but she does make sure she has both sexes accounted for..passes them out when she sees them on the street.

[Zephyr]

I do not give them anything.  My wife and I give lots of money annually to charity's, around here money given is to feed a drug habit.  

[Wilbur ★]

We were headed out to dinner in South Florida.   A toothless woman approaches the three of us and gives a song and dance about a hurricane sinking her and her husbands yacht.  She said they were left with nothing and all they wanted to do was get back to their house on Long Island.  

My copilot and flight attendant both gave her $20.  At dinner I asked them why and said, It has been 2 years since the last hurricane in Florida.    

Beggars rely on kind hearts and weak hands.  

[Kzoo]

If someone gives me the "I need money yo get home on the other side of town" I will ignore them.

A few weeks ago I was sitting in my car in a parking lot waiting for someone.  A guy approached and asked if I had some change to spare.  Being in a bad mood at the time I bushed him off.  Afterwards I felt incredibly conflicted.  Times are tough and he probably could use a buck and I have more than enough to help out.  Since that time I have kept a 5 spot clipped to my visor and if I run into a street corner beggar he/she gets my 5er.  If they mis-use the money that's on them but so many look like they need a little help.  

[Zephyr]

Last year a local farmer during harvest season went down to the local homeless 'tent city' where there were a couple hundred homeless who would fan out to beg at intersections daily.  He explained it was harvest season and he would show up there the next morning at 730 with a bus.  Anyone who wanted to make some money was welcome.  He would take them to the farm where they could help with the harvest.  He would pay them $12 an hour, provide a hot lunch and pay them daily (cash) and drop them back off at the tent city at the end of the day, and do this daily for the next few weeks.

Zero people from the tent city crying hard times and looking for handouts took him up on his offer.  None.

[Wilbur ★]

5 minutes ago, Zephyr said:

Last year a local farmer during harvest season went down to the local homeless 'tent city' where there were a couple hundred homeless who would fan out to beg at intersections daily.  He explained it was harvest season and he would show up there the next morning at 730 with a bus.  Anyone who wanted to make some money was welcome.  He would take them to the farm where they could help with the harvest.  He would pay them $12 an hour, provide a hot lunch and pay them daily (cash) and drop them back off at the tent city at the end of the day, and do this daily for the next few weeks.

Zero people from the tent city crying hard times and looking for handouts took him up on his offer.  None.

Dude!  We have protests to do!   

[12string]

Keep in mind the VAST majority have mental health issues.  They aren't going to get in a bus and go to work because they don't understand the concept.  They only know living on that steam vent and asking for money.  And so many of those scam stories are actually survival stories.  They found a story that feeds them, so they keep using it.

My wife sees people every day come in for food and other help.  She has learned how to spot the real scammers, they get turned away.  Another lesson is how many people who you would never guess are in need of help truly do need it.  Those are the ones that would get in the bus if one showed up

[Longjohn ★]

We don’t get panhandlers in the traditional sense, that big city stuff. The only pan handlers we have camp out at the doors to grocery stores and try to get you to give them money so they can play or go on trips. Cripes, stop begging, have a fund raiser or something. Even selling $20 tiny packages of popcorn is better than begging. Better yet have a car wash. I don’t give cash to doorway Beggers.  I think some of the store managers have set up rules for them now because the don’t harass people anymore. They now have a card table set up with a can or box for donations and if someone starts the conversation they will tell you what they are begging money for.

[Airehead]

3 hours ago, Randomguy said:

wanting to help is a basic human thing

this

3 hours ago, petitepedal said:

My hair stylist makes up bags..granola bars  or snacks stuff like peanut butter or faux cheese and crackers and maybe tooth brush, hand sanitizer..tampons..In the winter she might have socks, gloves and a hat...and she makes them up for both men and women..more for men than women  but she does make sure she has both sexes accounted for..passes them out when she sees them on the street.

I always have a case of small bags of dog food in my car-- homeless folks with dogs always get food from me.

[The_Karen_Cooper_Incident]

I generally only try to give money to people who I know are active alcoholics here in Rochester -- so they don't detox.

I have offered food in the past but usually receive arguments for money instead.  But to be honest, I generally do my best to ignore requests and avoid areas in Rochester where people ask for money.  The last thing I want to do is provide someone their last hot shot of fentanyl laced heroin. 

Begging for money is pretty pervasive here in Rochester.  Visiting certain parts of Monroe Ave are hot spots. I stopped going to a pharmacy on Monroe Ave because of it.

 

[Airehead]

And I always tell them the dog food gift bags are from Ylva.

[Tizeye]

Never! That is their sales job with tax-free income.

When I worked, on the commute home took the interstate exit and there was a panhandler at the light. Thanks to driving a truck, one time when I approached, looked down in the ditch as he was preparing his panhandling gig. His broken leg apparently enable him to ride a bike up the the site, well hidden in the ditch, and he was putting on his removable cast so he could draw people's pity about his broken leg.

Another time was laid off, keeping a good physical appearance for job hunting.  Finances were tight and walking up to an ATM. Afterwards approached for 'spare change' knowing the ATM only disburses 20s. Kink of drove the point home - always about them and could care less about my economic state.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

 

[Zephyr]

1 hour ago, 12string said:

Keep in mind the VAST majority have mental health issues.  They aren't going to get in a bus and go to work because they don't understand the concept

You have a different class of homeless than we do, obviously.

Mental health is an issue, but VAST majority?  Not here.  

[groupw]

I don't give. I donate to our homeless shelter. On a hot day, I will buy some water, but no money. One panhandler worked near the homeless shelter office. They made it very clear not to donate to him. Any money was spent on lottery tickets at the convenience store behind him. 

Lots of mental illness. This really hit home a few years ago. There was a couple really close to my in-laws. Most of their boys were a little older than WoW and I but a really nice family. Their daughter was a few years younger than us. Gorgeous young woman. Apparently as she got older, she had a personality disorder I learned this some time later. If she took her meds, she was fine, but her dad would throw out her meds! Apparently he got sucked into some anti-vax group. If WoW's dad had still been alive he would have kicked Larry's ass! They were like brothers when FIL was alive. Lana left home. She was college age so not unusual not to see her at family activities she would normally have attended. 

Over the years, I would hear stories. Mostly when MIL would talk to her mother and relayed what she had heard. It wasn't good. Homelessness, drugs....Somehow, she got back on the right path. Cleaned up, was taking her meds, got a job at a McDonalds in a small town nearby. I even saw her there and she looked great. She even remembered me and said to tell WoW hi. Working minimum wage meant funds were tight so she moved back with her parents. Dad found out she was back on the meds and threw them out. She left again. That winter, it was a very cold, snow night. I met a client at a brewpub to talk about a photo shoot. In walks a disheveled woman with a weird stocking cap and a long (assuming faux) black fur coat. Someone from the waitstaff rushed up to her and told her she had to leave because she kept pestering the customers. The woman did not fight. As she turned, I saw it was Lana, she looked at me like she should know me, but no firm recognition. I did nothing at the time. After my meeting with the client was done, I circled the blocks nearby to make sure she was not outside. Never found her.

The dad had passed away somewhere around that time. The daughter didn't go to the funeral, but the daughter reunited and now lives with her mom again. She is back on her meds and working at a convenience store and taking care of mom. I rode up through the town where WoW and I got married last year. As I got near the town, I passed a shapely woman in shorts and a white tank top walking to town. The town has a church and a bar and a few houses. On my return, I saw the woman walking out of the bar with a Coke, it was the daughter. She smiled and waved as I rode by. You can still see the hard life, but would guess her to be 10 years younger than her actual age. That's the "happy" story. We get to know many of the homeless by face if not by name. It's always sad to learn one passed away when so many offer to help. 

[Randomguy]

15 minutes ago, Zephyr said:

Mental health is an issue, but VAST majority?  Not here.  

It is here.  Lots of crazy homeless folks.

[sheep_herder ★]

Never forget the one that ran across the street to chase me down and asked for money in Baltimore.  She was not happy when I did not donate to the cause.