Do you trust soft hands?

[groupw]

We met a couple this summer and have been spending some time with them. The other wife had noticed my Cayman Island shirt and we started comparing notes on our trips. As we talked we found out we had similar interests in food and music. 

The wife is into fitness and has joined our cycling groups. The husband seems nice but guarded. He comes from a wealthy family. I kind of gathered he has to filter people a bit more to make sure they aren’t just about his money. Still he has ridden with us a few times. 

One day at the end of the summer, we went for a trail ride with just the 4 of us. Afterwards we went to the state fair, sat in a beer garden and just enjoyed echo other’s company. It was a great afternoon. At the end, as we went our separate ways, the wives gave hugs and the husband and I shook hands. 

His hands were some of the softest I had ever shook! It was obvious he had not done a day of manual labor in years at the minimum! It was very uncomfortable feeling. He is still a nice guy and I enjoy our conversations, but I have a hard time relating to him as one of the guys. 

Ever have such situations?

[Ralphie ★]

Not nearly as bad as the hand crusher handshakes!

[maddmaxx ★]

There are far too many things to worry about in this world.

[Wilbur ★]

25 minutes ago, groupw said:

We met a couple this summer and have been spending some time with them. The other wife had noticed my Cayman Island shirt and we started comparing notes on our trips. As we talked we found out we had similar interests in food and music. 

The wife is into fitness and has joined our cycling groups. The husband seems nice but guarded. He comes from a wealthy family. I kind of gathered he has to filter people a bit more to make sure they aren’t just about his money. Still he has ridden with us a few times. 

One day at the end of the summer, we went for a trail ride with just the 4 of us. Afterwards we went to the state fair, sat in a beer garden and just enjoyed echo other’s company. It was a great afternoon. At the end, as we went our separate ways, the wives gave hugs and the husband and I shook hands. 

His hands were some of the softest I had ever shook! It was obvious he had not done a day of manual labor in years at the minimum! It was very uncomfortable feeling. He is still a nice guy and I enjoy our conversations, but I have a hard time relating to him as one of the guys. 

Ever have such situations?

Yes, many.  These are the troubles with working for billionaires.  My former boss was like shaking ands with a 90 yo woman. 

[Thaddeus Kosciuszko]

38 minutes ago, groupw said:

Ever have such situations?

Sure.

I remind myself that judging someone by their handshake is pretty much the same as judging them by their skin color.

[Longjohn ★]

The first few times my wife had breast cancer she was quite scared and wanted me with her in the examining room. The one surgeon examined her and afterwards my wife told me he had the softest hands she had ever felt. I barely notice how hard or soft someone's hands are.

[Further]

I expect my doctor & lawyer to have soft hands. When a 20 year old is telling me he has 10 years welding experience, and the only callus on his hand is from a cell phone, I tend to be suspicious.   

[JerrySTL ★]

I, sadly, have soft hands. When I was a mechanic, my hands were properly callused. Now sitting all day behind a keyboard, my butt gets more callused. 

To make matters worse, I have a problem with the skin on the heels of my feet cracking and have to put cream on them almost daily. This further softens my hands.

I notice that when I do some actual manual labor, my hands can bleed with contact of the slightest sharp object. 

[smudge ★]

I HATE soft hands, even my own. I like working out without gloves; works up my callouses. Super soft hands weird me out.

Judging a person by his handshake is WAY different than judging him by his skin color. 

If you get along with the guy, don't let his soft hands change your friendship. Just know you're the more manly man. 

[Guest]

My junior college hockey coach used to make us practice passing eggs across the width of the rink. He said it would give us “soft hands” and help our puck handling. If the egg broke on your stick that was good for ten sprints, goal line to blue line back, then to centerline and back then to other blue line and back then to other goal line and back. Ughhhh

[petitepedal ★]

I had a dermatologist in TX...I won't say soft hands but a a limp/clamy handshake...and he would shake hands and then hold up my hand to look at it (my psoriasis can get bad on my hands) Anyway...it was kinda creepy...even though..he was a good doc....

[Dirtyhip]

20 minutes ago, smudge said:

I HATE soft hands, even my own. I like working out without gloves; works up my callouses. Super soft hands weird me out.

Judging a person by his handshake is WAY different than judging him by his skin color. 

If you get along with the guy, don't let his soft hands change your friendship. Just know you're the more manly man. 

It's like touching raw meat. 

[Wilbur ★]

15 minutes ago, Zackny said:

My junior college hockey coach used to make us practice passing eggs across the width of the rink. He said it would give us “soft hands” and help our puck handling. If the egg broke on your stick that was good for ten sprints, goal line to blue line back, then to centerline and back then to other blue line and back then to other goal line and back. Ughhhh

No wonder Canada keeps winning.  Our coaches teach hockey.   

[ChrisL]

16 minutes ago, Zackny said:

My junior college hockey coach used to make us practice passing eggs across the width of the rink. He said it would give us “soft hands” and help our puck handling. If the egg broke on your stick that was good for ten sprints, goal line to blue line back, then to centerline and back then to other blue line and back then to other goal line and back. Ughhhh

Baseball had a similar drill in that they would field balls (Not hit or thrown hard) bare handed to help with soft hands.  Not the same point tho...

No I don't judge but I was taught and teach firm shake & eye contact.

[Wilbur ★]

I have working man hands. Complete with poorly healed broken fingers and scars from accidents and bike crashes.  I enjoy wood and metal working and do all my own handy stuffs so that enhances callouses etc.  

[sheep_herder ★]

Might be a professional pool shark.

[Scrapr ★]

1 hour ago, smudge said:

If you get along with the guy, don't let his soft hands change your friendship. Just know you're the more manly man. 

next time you see him ask if he needs any pickle jars opened. Or other heavy stuff moved. Maybe give him a ride in your pickup. But  for heavens sake don't offer him a chew

yes. Soft hands make me double clutch on the shake. But, i am losing my man hands now too

[Randomguy]

I happily have soft hands.  If I am doing manual labor, I am smart enough to wear gloves.

[shootingstar]

18 minutes ago, Randomguy said:

I happily have soft hands.  If I am doing manual labor, I am smart enough to wear gloves.

Honest I'm glad dearie has soft hands.  He was a part-time farmer on weekends for a decade but wore gloves.  He built his own farmhouse.  Earlier in his career he did work out the field as an engineer.  

I don't like sharp edges on skin. And I don't like dirty fingernails, many calluses, etc.  He has accidentally scratched me because my skin is soft.

Dearie is very clean..for a guy. It is based on childhood sickness (he has tuberculosis, meningitis in GErmany) he had as a boy which motivated him as he grew up  about keeping himself healthy, less germs.  He was not one of the little boys who enjoyed playing the mud and jumping in mud puddles.

His voice matches his soft hands...he has a naturally softer voice for guy (tenor, not bass)....which for a guy is  advantageous in some management roles.  People seem to want to listen to his voice.

[Square Wheels]

I did carpentry for many years.  My hands were so calloused I could sand wood with them.  I can remember sitting in the dentist waiting room picking out the splinters, didn't even know they were there.  In the winter they'd get dry and cracked.  If you looked into the cracks it would be red, presumably where new skin was growing.

I still have a basement full of tools and do all of my own work around the house, but I have a desk job.

I think I'd consider my hands reasonably soft.

I am one of the most judgmental people I know, so I am sensitive to judgmental questions.

I am a better person now than I was then, so I'd be disappointed to be thought of less a man because I have soft hands.

[pedalphile]

12 hours ago, Wilbur said:

Yes, many.  These are the troubles with working for billionaires.  My former boss was like shaking ands with a 90 yo woman. 

Ha Ha I am thinking Montgomery Burns.

[bikeman564™]

12 hours ago, Thaddeus Kosciuszko said:

Sure.

I remind myself that judging someone by their handshake is pretty much the same as judging them by their skin color.

I judge by beer they drink

[shootingstar]

My father had soft hands....and he was a restaurant cook his whole life. He was the breadwinner in the family for wife & 6 children.  This is a guy who taught himself English before they had their 6th child.  I can't imagine the stress my father must have felt at certain times.

Seriously, some people have lived VERY difficult lives and soft hands isn't an indicator of personal toughness and manual labour.

[Wilbur ★]

1 hour ago, Square Wheels said:

I'd be disappointed to be thought of less a man because I have soft hands

I think that because you are a squirrel! 

[Wilbur ★]

27 minutes ago, shootingstar said:

My father had soft hands....and he was a restaurant cook his whole life. He was the breadwinner in the family for wife & 6 children.  This is a guy who taught himself English before they had their 6th child.  I can't imagine the stress my father must have felt at certain times.

Seriously, some people have lived VERY difficult lives and soft hands isn't an indicator of personal toughness and manual labour.

My ancestors were bakers.  Some of the hardest working people but with incredibly soft hands.  They are in butter and shortening all day. 

[Chris...]

I guess I have soft hands now. All of my callouses are gone. I have a lot of scars on my fingers and knuckles though. 

[Wilbur ★]

4 minutes ago, Chris... said:

I have a lot of scars on my fingers and knuckles though. 

Slow evolving?

    VVVVVV

[Razors Edge ★]

I can't think of a reason not to "trust" someone with soft hands. Now, soft hands coupled with a near hairless body? There is no way I am trusting that! (Unless some medical reason)

Tom

[Randomguy]

15 hours ago, groupw said:

His hands were some of the softest I had ever shook! It was obvious he had not done a day of manual labor in years at the minimum! It was very uncomfortable feeling. He is still a nice guy and I enjoy our conversations, but I have a hard time relating to him as one of the guys. 

I have thought about this again, and realize that you may be on to something here.  Nature generally tells us to avoid things that seem wrong, and that is probably because there was such a cost if you mingled with somebody diseased.  You could get sick, you could take the sickness to others you hobnob with on a daily basis and end up killing your whole tribe.  Anyway, any characteristic out of line with expectations could get your spidey sense tingling.

Throughout most of evolutionary history, soft hands would have meant something bad was going on, some disease or injury that prevents you from spearing saber-toothed monkeys or somesuch.  Best to stay away and all that.

11 hours ago, Randomguy said:

I happily have soft hands.  If I am doing manual labor, I am smart enough to wear gloves.

You are such a wuss!  It sounds as though you have never done manual labor in your life!

Heh heh...

14 hours ago, Thaddeus Kosciuszko said:

Sure.

I remind myself that judging someone by their handshake is pretty much the same as judging them by their skin color.

Well, there are societal expectations in regards to firmness of handshakes and whatnot, so a handshake without the normal bit of oomph would stand out.

2 hours ago, Square Wheels said:

I think I'd consider my hands reasonably soft.

I am one of the most judgmental people I know, so I am sensitive to judgmental questions.

I am a better person now than I was then, so I'd be disappointed to be thought of less a man because I have soft hands.

I have also thought about this a bit...

People are judgemental in general, so there must have been an evolutionary advantage to this.  Don't be so hard on yourself, you are just being a human (with baby-soft hands).

[groupw]

This is the rural midwest. A firm handshake is still a way many around here measure up the other person. I guess the reason it struck me so is the guy is part of a family that owns and operates several large farm implement dealerships.  Farmers and construction workers tend to be people who place a lot of value in the handshake. To me, it would be jarring for the farmer to shake such a hand. I guess that is why it surprised me so much. 

I have callouses and cuts on my hands, but I try to keep them somewhat moisturized as well. I want to be able to touch WoW without her cringing from dry hands. I deal with such a wide range of professions and people in my job, that I have learned how to start with a relaxed grip when shaking hands and quickly ramp up as needed. Even though my hands aren't large, I have developed the grip and leverage to be able to open pickle jars others can't. That has come in handy a couple times when a big guy. But I can also start soft enough to shake the fragile hand of an elderly woman. Adjusting to the audience, I guess..

[12string]

Why would it matter?  It was already a given that the man has money and can live a pampered life, what were you expecting?

I happen to have hands of solid granite  (At least on the hockey rink)

[MickinMD ★]

"It was obvious he had not done a day of manual labor in years at the minimum!"

If it's a young guy, I'm uncomfortable because he seems not to take part in doing some of the hard things we men generally think helps make a man.

I've had 16 year-old high school students afraid to strike and light a match (to light a Bunsen or Fisher burner) and it seems like those kinds of students tended to fall into a category where their parents prohibition of anything mildly dangerous also kept them from going out for sports, taking part other physical activities like a tug-of-war during Homecoming activities, etc.

On the other hand, my own 67 year-old hands no longer bear the callouses on my palms they bore for decades of doing lots of work with my hands as well as playing and coaching sports. They did in 2011, but only because I overran my budget for paying a contractor to improve my 2nd house before putting it on the market and I finished the work myself.  But for anyone who can pay someone else to do it - especially if it frees his time to earn even more money in his white collar profession: more power to him!

[shootingstar]

3 hours ago, MickinMD said:

"It was obvious he had not done a day of manual labor in years at the minimum!"

If it's a young guy, I'm uncomfortable because he seems not to take part in doing some of the hard things we men generally think helps make a man.

I've had 16 year-old high school students afraid to strike and light a match (to light a Bunsen or Fisher burner) and it seems like those kinds of students tended to fall into a category where their parents prohibition of anything mildly dangerous also kept them from going out for sports, taking part other physical activities like a tug-of-war during Homecoming activities, etc.

On the other hand, my own 67 year-old hands no longer bear the callouses on my palms they bore for decades of doing lots of work with my hands as well as playing and coaching sports. They did in 2011, but only because I overran my budget for paying a contractor to improve my 2nd house before putting it on the market and I finished the work myself.  But for anyone who can pay someone else to do it - especially if it frees his time to earn even more money in his white collar profession: more power to him!

How would  one assess a tough woman  physically for simple manual labour? 

5 hours ago, groupw said:

This is the rural midwest. A firm handshake is still a way many around here measure up the other person. I guess the reason it struck me so is the guy is part of a family that owns and operates several large farm implement dealerships.  Farmers and construction workers tend to be people who place a lot of value in the handshake. To me, it would be jarring for the farmer to shake such a hand. I guess that is why it surprised me so much. 

I have callouses and cuts on my hands, but I try to keep them somewhat moisturized as well. I want to be able to touch WoW without her cringing from dry hands. I deal with such a wide range of professions and people in my job, that I have learned how to start with a relaxed grip when shaking hands and quickly ramp up as needed. Even though my hands aren't large, I have developed the grip and leverage to be able to open pickle jars others can't. That has come in handy a couple times when a big guy. But I can also start soft enough to shake the fragile hand of an elderly woman. Adjusting to the audience, I guess..

I notice the nothingness of a flaccid, limp handshake. Even my immigrant mother will provide gentle, but noticeable handshake. (She also has an incredible grip when she's angry...) However I tend to forget handshakes.  I remember more the person's voice, comments, facial expressions. That's what also counts in my memory.

My mother actually had rougher hands than my father...she would forget to wear rubber gloves with all the handwashing of fresh veggies, dishes, some laundry.  We didn't have dishwashing machine...so washing dishes from 8 people.... enuff said.

[roadiejorge]

Handshakes, rough hands vs soft hands, aren't things I focus on. What's more telling is how a person behaves. 

[Parr8hed]

On 1/9/2018 at 6:47 PM, RalphWaldoMooseworth said:

Not nearly as bad as the hand crusher handshakes!

I am a pretty strong dude.  I have done some manual labor, fairly handy with my hands.  Been around the gym a bunch.  So I have a fairly firm handshake.  We have some friends.  Wife is a nurse, husband owns a construction business.  He is English.  His upper body is enormous.  Body builder enormous.  I went to shake his hand the first time I met him and he freaking hurt me!  He had the strongest, most rough, calloused hands I had ever felt.  And the firmest grip EVER.  It really caught me off guard, and I am a big manly man.  I feel sorry for less manly men that shake his hand.  I bet he's put people into the hospital with that grip!

[Parr8hed]

On 1/9/2018 at 6:40 PM, groupw said:

We met a couple this summer and have been spending some time with them. The other wife had noticed my Cayman Island shirt and we started comparing notes on our trips. As we talked we found out we had similar interests in food and music. 

The wife is into fitness and has joined our cycling groups. The husband seems nice but guarded. He comes from a wealthy family. I kind of gathered he has to filter people a bit more to make sure they aren’t just about his money. Still he has ridden with us a few times. 

One day at the end of the summer, we went for a trail ride with just the 4 of us. Afterwards we went to the state fair, sat in a beer garden and just enjoyed echo other’s company. It was a great afternoon. At the end, as we went our separate ways, the wives gave hugs and the husband and I shook hands. 

His hands were some of the softest I had ever shook! It was obvious he had not done a day of manual labor in years at the minimum! It was very uncomfortable feeling. He is still a nice guy and I enjoy our conversations, but I have a hard time relating to him as one of the guys. 

Ever have such situations?

I have worked with a ton of surgeons that have very weak shakes with soft hands.  It always kinda creeps me out.

[Dirtyhip]

2 minutes ago, Parr8hed said:

I have worked with a ton of surgeons that have very weak shakes with soft hands.  It always kinda creeps me out.

Like holding raw chicken.

[Dirtyhip]

5 minutes ago, Parr8hed said:

I am a pretty strong dude.  I have done some manual labor, fairly handy with my hands.  Been around the gym a bunch.  So I have a fairly firm handshake.  We have some friends.  Wife is a nurse, husband owns a construction business.  He is English.  His upper body is enormous.  Body builder enormous.  I went to shake his hand the first time I met him and he freaking hurt me!  He had the strongest, most rough, calloused hands I had ever felt.  And the firmest grip EVER.  It really caught me off guard, and I am a big manly man.  I feel sorry for less manly men that shake his hand.  I bet he's put people into the hospital with that grip!

Big manly man. Best quote eva.

[Dirtyhip]

When we ride bachelor a lot in the summer, my calluses get thicker and gross. My husband and I compare our riding bumps.

[pedalphile]

53 minutes ago, Parr8hed said:

I am a pretty strong dude.  I have done some manual labor, fairly handy with my hands.  Been around the gym a bunch.  So I have a fairly firm handshake.  We have some friends.  Wife is a nurse, husband owns a construction business.  He is English.  His upper body is enormous.  Body builder enormous.  I went to shake his hand the first time I met him and he freaking hurt me!  He had the strongest, most rough, calloused hands I had ever felt.  And the firmest grip EVER.  It really caught me off guard, and I am a big manly man.  I feel sorry for less manly men that shake his hand.  I bet he's put people into the hospital with that grip!

He is a jerk, typical English <spit>

[Parr8hed]

1 minute ago, pedalphile said:

He is a jerk, typical English <spit>

Ha!  he does talk funny.  Even funnier than I do.

[pedalphile]

52 minutes ago, Parr8hed said:

I have worked with a ton of surgeons that have very weak shakes with soft hands.  It always kinda creeps me out.

Simple, they depend on their hands, they are not going to go round trying to break bones like that English constructor jerk off.

[Razors Edge ★]

53 minutes ago, Parr8hed said:

I have worked with a ton of surgeons that have very weak shakes with soft hands.  It always kinda creeps me out.

Probably a very good thing! I want a surgeon with a soft, delicate, and dexterous hands. Leave the gross motor skills to the demolition guys, and keep the fine motor skills for the folks mucking around inside my body with very sharp instruments!

Tom

[Parr8hed]

12 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

Probably a very good thing! I want a surgeon with a soft, delicate, and dexterous hands. Leave the gross motor skills to the demolition guys, and keep the fine motor skills for the folks mucking around inside my body with very sharp instruments!

Tom

Truth.

[Randomguy]

Shaking hands is silly.  Keep your germs to yourself!

[Parr8hed]

9 minutes ago, Three times a dickbag said:

Shaking hands is silly.  Keep your germs to yourself!

I will agree.  We should chest bump.

[Razors Edge ★]

13 minutes ago, Parr8hed said:

I will agree.  We should chest bump.

Whatever happened to the Eskimo nose "kiss"?  That's pretty fun!

Tom

[pedalphile]

47 minutes ago, Three times a dickbag said:

Shaking hands is silly.  Keep your germs to yourself!

Shaking hands every 5 minutes is extremely silly: I see it all the time among the youth, and not just a normal shake of hands, a ludicrous charade worthy of the freemasons or something. Makes me gip.

[pedalphile]

24 minutes ago, Razors Edge said:

Whatever happened to the Eskimo nose "kiss"?  That's pretty fun!

Tom

I was watching a documentary about Saudi Arabia the other night, every1 was coming up to the new Prince on the block and doing something very similar, I couldn't completely make it out, even looked like a bit of lip on lip action may have been involved. Weird.